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What’s the most cringe-worthy thing someone’s said to you during sex? 

“Not said, but played their own music during.”

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This year's Sex + Dating survey asked readers what was the worst thing someone ever uttered to them in bed. Unfortunately, you all had plenty of answers. But fortunately for the rest of the city reading this post, you all had plenty of answers. we've collected the best responses below.



“Would you mind if I smoke while you fuck me from behind?”

“I hope that's not my husband in the driveway!”

“How many kids have you had?”

“Fuck...you're deep enough!”



“Will you marry me?”


“She wailed like a newborn baby as a joke. My boner died laughing. Actually, no, it just died.”


“You have sweat glands like armpits down there so I’m using flavoured lube.”


“I need a break” (Then he took a 15-minute nap in my bed).

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“You're such a treat.”


“I’m shaking, this usually doesn’t happen you’re just so hot.”


“Did you shave your legs?”


“Is it in yet?” —Male partner to me, their female partner.


“Referring to my clit as my ‘clitty.’”


“Called me ‘lover.’ Fuuuuuuuuuck”

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“I love you.”

“I needed that.”

“The wrong name.”

“Like a weird feminine moan.”


“Are you my slutty mommy?”


“Any variation on ‘You're so tight.’”


“You’re actually thinner than you look.”

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“I think absolute silence is the worst.”


“Your dick is way bigger any shit I've ever taken so it's definitely not going in my asshole.”


“Narrated the entire experience.”


“You have the most beautiful ears. Like a little Dutch girl! Sorry, you must hear that all the time.”


“‘I want to see how you touch yourself when you're thinking of me.’ I laughed in his face and he's still embarrassed about it.”

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“You're tighter than my ex.”


“Cum on my stick.” 


“Not said, but played their own music during.”


“Guy told me I was milking him, which I still feel uncomfortable thinking about TBH. Like, IDK how to respond to that.”


“I would say something along the lines of a cowboys and indians theme. I'm native and they were white.”


“My medication makes me fart.” 

“I don't have a story really, but I once walked in on a buddy who was being called Paddington Bear during sex.”


“Someone once sang to me after sex. Not playing music but actually looked into my soul and sang some country song about getting married. We were not even dating.”


“Referring to themselves in the third person by their very stupid nickname.”


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Survey Asks

Atlantic Playland is now Atlantic Splash Adventure, featuring waterslides like the Bluenose Blaster and Bowl of Fundy. What other Nova Scotia-inspired attractions could the waterpark offer?

  • Sable Island Shipwreck
  • Bomb Cyclone
  • Historic Waveyard
  • Power Outage Plunge
  • Donair Dunk

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In Print This Week

Vol 25, No 47
April 19, 2018

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