Early on in this tepid romantic drama, Channing Tatum’s college-quarterback voice elucidates the theory that major moments in life can shape one’s identity. No shit. The Vow isn’t deep enough to drown an ant, but it aims to submerge audiences in their own tears with its story of an artist (Rachel McAdams) who can’t remember her husband (Tatum) after emerging from a coma. Though he appears to have been carved from granite, Tatum registers with a surprising degree of humanity and humour, while McAdams seems to have gone so Method with her amnesiac character that she forgot how to act. Diehard genre fans will swoon for the oft-shirtless Tatum and hiss at the one-note WASP assholery of McAdams’ parents (Sam Neill and Jessica Lange), but the movie is lacking in memorable, heart-melting moments. –Matt Semansky