Get over yourself. The franchise that defined vampires for a generation (deal with it) and gave insufferable blowhards something to complain about comes to a close; bowing out with this astonishingly shallow entry that manages to squeeze a satisfactory amount of bonkers from its wispy plot. To stop the dark lord Michael Sheen, who seeks to kill Kristen Stewart for her sexual escapades, Bella and Edward (real life's Robsten) must assemble some of earth's mightiest heroes—including The Last Airbender, Dracula and Bunk from The Wire. Together they'll need to harness their mutant powers and team up with giant puppies if they're ever to protect the chosen one from an army of Death Eaters. None of that is altogether inaccurate. Pottery Barn also stars as set design. Go see it, or don't. Just shut up about it already.