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The New Virginity 

Once upon a time, chastity got people off. Women were attractive for being pure: unsullied by sexual experience. Dirty men wanted clean women. And if women did engage in sexual deviancy? It was behind closed doors and that's where it stayed. "Naughty" girls pretended not to be naughty and kept their pleasure a secret. If not, they'd be looked down upon, scorned, or even disowned.

Fucking through a couple of sexual revolutions, the decline of religious belief and the explosion of sex-related media, people have turned the tables. Well, they've more than turned the tables: they've flipped them, held onto the posts, broken them from banging, then chopped them into little pieces. Trust me. I know. Having reached the age of 25 and sat at this table with my hymen still intact, I know.

Yes, there are the purity movements that have had their 15 minutes of fame, but in reality, the idea that someone would choose to not be engaging in the nasty baffles most. Men especially. So baffling in fact that upon revealing my status on more than one occasion the responses have gone something like this: blank expression; shock; confusion followed by "But why? You're so pretty/beautiful/hot/sexy, et cetera." The words may be different but the meaning is the same: If I haven't had sex it must be because no man has ever made an effort to feast off the succulent delights that must exist beneath my clothes.

Other people thought I was weird, frigid, brainwashed by religion or they just plain pitied me. Romantic partners were the most interesting; from trying to convince me to change my mind to leaving me because they couldn't handle my unwillingness.

Once I had changed my mind in that department and was willing, one man changed his mind! His words a few days after I told him I was a virgin, but would sleep with him eventually: "It's just too much pressure. I really want to have sex with you but I'd rather be one of the 10 losers you've slept with than the one you'll remember your whole life."

So, the point? Well, after I decided to let go of my apparently outdated values and started doing the deed I realized I'm exactly the same person. Nothing much has changed. Hymen's gone. I have less time, a bit more fun and a bit more drama!

Just keep in mind that virgin beside you, she's not an alien. Her hymen's there, but she still feels fucked.

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