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Soulmates don't have to be romantic partners 

Deep thoughts from our Sex + Dating survey.

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  • Click here for all of our Sex + Dating coverage


Conversations about soulmates bring up a lot of questions. Are soulmates even a thing? Do you get more than one soulmate? What if you live on opposite sides of the world? What if they die before you meet them?

Most readers seem to believe in the concept, but those who responded to this year's Sex + Darting survey lean towards the idea of multiple soulmates.

“I believe there's a pool of soulmates who all have different reasons for being your soulmate. I've found two soulmates already but for different reasons.”

Another reader writes that they “believe that I have many soulmates that come into my life and change my heart completely. I also believe that my life partner is not my soulmate, but the person I was meant to live my whole life with, which is why I am poly. I need to be able to connect with my soul mates when they enter my life again.”

It’s also worth noting that soulmates aren’t necessarily sexual or even romantic—sometimes the greatest love is with a best friend, or perhaps your friendly neighbourhood alt-weekly.

“I think you can have more than one and I do not think there are necessarily people you are romantically involved with,” says one survey respondent. Another believes they've found their soulmate “in a non-sexual relationship” with their roommate. Kudos!

“To me, it's more about alignment in values, trust and a real connection of energy (as weird as that sounds). It's those things that make that person resonate in your life. So in that sense, I think someone can have many soulmates.”

Then there are the cynics—some might say realists—who have a less romantic view of the whole idea.

“Barely believe in love,” writes one. “Hetero nonsense,” says another.

Real or not, soulmate or not, one undeniable truth is that any strong relationship takes more than just an ethereal connection.

“I feel the idea you're 'meant to be together' implies the relationship should be easy, and kind of discredits the amount of work that should go into maintaining the relationship.”

Here are some more of our favourite answers:

“There are a lot of people that you could be with for the rest of your life, but not one person you're meant to be with.”

“I believe you can be well-suited, but to live, eat and breathe in unison...depressing thought. Variety is the spice of life!”

“I believe in life partners if you're willing to put in the work that comes along with loving someone into old age.”

“Not in the sense that there's one person out there who's your 'soulmate' and you never get another one. But I believe that there are people that you're meant to be with and you're gonna end up together even if you try not to.”

“Yes. I do believe that some people find the 'perfect partner' that understands them and makes them happy and vice versa.”

“In the sense that there are plural and there's probably a few for everyone, yes. Maybe you've got one soulmate in every city, or something.”


“I do, actually. I've found that all the couples that really work seem to have bizarre connections in some way.”

“Absolutely. I know I've met people who've been with me in lifetimes before.”

“I believe in connections, and certain energies that only exist with certain people.”

“I really do think you can have more than one, and more than one can enter your life at one time. It's one reason I believe in polyamory. I know to some it's more virtuous to decline those feelings and willingly move past the potential for love with someone else other than your current partner. I actually totally respect that lifestyle and think those people are amazing. Life is just so short and often so filled with unhappiness. I think any and all love you can find should be cherished.”


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