Sorry Neal | Sports | Halifax, Nova Scotia | THE COAST

I knew you felt the dream. I hope you're feeling better. You're not missing much other than a lot of cute kids painting "environmental" pictures. Children are our future, after all. Nothing makes you forget smog, human rights violations and emprisoned kitty cats more than pig tails and chubby cheeks.

I swore I wouldn't write about the kittens, but I'm getting annoyed. Give me one high jumper, that's all I ask.

9:54am: Ummm, there's a dude floating in a space suit. Now there's a giant globe that's supposed to be 'one world, one dream' and all these acrobats are running and flipping all over it, suspended by wires, but they look like bugs scattering. Maybe that's because they just revealed Sarah Brightman at the top of the world.

9:59 am: Brightman's voice is so vapidly annoying it makes hundreds of umbrellas open (with photos of childen of the world plastered on them, of course. The KIDS! It's all about the children!!) and fireworks explode. Now, where's that Estonian cheese????

10:01 am: "What will be next?" asks Mansbridge. No shit. Finally some athletes are being promised.

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