Jerkin’ Jacks

What to do when your employee shows up at your local Jacks club. Plus: How do I get used to my wife's budding bisexuality?
QI have a secret: For the past three months, I've been attending a local Jacks club (a men-only masturbation event).


Dan dishes the dirt on kid kinks and old virgins. Plus: Relax, nobody “just knows.”
Q I was involved with a straight man who enjoys cross-dressing and taking explicit photos.

Hearts and mindfulness

Can two people in a loving, committed, no-sex relationship restart their sex life?
Q Is it even possible for a couple that stopped having sex to start back up again?

Needs and deeds

The fine line between “carefully broaching” and “being vague” Plus: Cuckqueans and cuckolds
QI'm a 62-year-old woman.

Fresh starts

When really good head still can’t get you out of your head. Plus: Alternatives to telling your ex you’ve moved on via Instagram.
Q I am newly divorced and have started a relationship with a man I've known and deeply cared about for decades.

Gay and lonely

HuffPost reporter Michael Hobbes’ advice for the ugly and aged.Plus: The bad news: “You might not ever meet anyone.”
Q I am a gay man in my late 50s and have never been in a relationship.

Cuckolding fetish: Explained

“Cuckolding isn’t that hard to understand,” says Dan. Plus: Is following up on your rejection OK?
Q I'm a cis woman in my mid-40s, and my significant other has a cuckolding fetish.

Quick hits

Simple answers to complex questions—from no-strings BJs to introducing your boyfriend to your husband.
Q This woman has gone down on me (I'm a man) more than half a dozen times in the last three months.

Pickles & surrogates

Learning to enjoy intimacy instead of freaking out, even when there’s a teeny tiny bit of blood involved.
Q I'm in a pickle.

Secret perving

Wearing your ethics on your sleeve in the world of kink Plus: Girlfriend’s got a ’gram issue
Q I've been enjoying consensual nonmonogamy for the past two years, in part thanks to your column and podcast.

Après pill, the storm

When ditching the pill has you pining for pleasure. Plus: We’re all the same in our wedding present plight.
Q I'm a 27-year-old woman living on the east coast.

Reconcilable differences

How to fix a “straighty” partner, mental-health issues dragging a relationship down and stank-ass dick.
Q I'm gay and have been dating a guy for 10 months.


Should I kick my partner in the nuts? Plus: Sage advice from Mary Poppins
Q I’ve been faithfully reading your column in the Chicago Reader for years, and now I’m reaching out to you about my own problem.


Navigating kinks, sexuality and a 30-year age difference
Q I’m a 20-year-old submissive woman.


Savage navigates between the lines of bisexuality
Q Longtime Savage Love fanboy with a bit of a conundrum—and it’s your fault!

It Got Better

Couples that weren’t doomed while doin’ it after saying ‘I do.’
Q In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years.

Both & Baggage

When your married sex-life stalls, what’s the harm in cheating-adjacent action?
Q When I started dating my husband, he told me he had a low libido.

Blow us all away

A straight man worries he’s taken advantage of his gay friend in their BJ arrangment. Plus: Is oral reciprocation always necessary?
Q I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years.

Retroactive blessings

Dan tells a snooping hubby to get over his wife’s flirtationship. Plus: The life and times of being the subject of a drunk booty call.
Q Without snooping, I came across texts between my wife “Mary” and a guy “Jeremy” of a very sexual nature.

Diaper drama

When your husband’s full-on diaper fetish is weighing you down Plus: Is there such thing as too close to the edge?
Q I’ve been married to my husband for two years.

Archive Spotlight »
Savage Love

No need for sex


No need for sex

posted by DAN SAVAGE, May 28/15

I haven’t had sex in nine years and I don’t care. Am I asexual? Plus: Does my boyfriend’s love of thongs mean he’s gay? comments      0

In Print This Week

Vol 26, No 21
October 18, 2018

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