Savage Love

Savage Love

Only for now

Where is my relationship going? I like the warm feelings of love and lust I’m finally experiencing after a long time, but I am nevertheless unsatisfied

By Dan Savage

QI'm a 28-year-old queer woman. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, as it was impossible for me to make a physical or emotional connection with anyone after I was raped four years ago...

You can have a successful short-term relationship with someone who isn't long-term relationship material.

  • Sextra! Sextra! Get your quickies here!

    Enjoy a load of sex advice short snappers, from pube preferences to pee play.

    By Dan Savage

    A controlling, possessive piece of shit who “constantly worries” you’re cheating on him needs to be dumped immediately.

  • Age against the machine

    “I’m a 60-something cis woman with a 30-something cis man lover…”

    By Dan Savage

    Taking PIV off the menu for now might be the quickest way to get PIV back on the menu.

  • Lay Misérables

    Is it healthy to masturbate about a dead lover?

    By Dan Savage

    Enjoy the sex you’re having, masturbate about the sex you’d like to have and stop contemplating chemical castration.

  • How to deal with jealousy in poly paradise

    “I want to feel queerer and a little less mainstream!”

    By Dan Savage

    Back in the day Shakespeare called jealousy the green-eyed monster; now SPEW calls it a nefarious patriarchal capitalist hack.

  • Sub optimal

    “I want to be a good gay uncle, but honestly, I'm an objectively poor role model”

    By Dan Savage

    Having a shoulder—or a boot—to lean on is always a help.

  • Sex-advice quickies

    From dating a friend's ex to dating a sister's ex to drinking pee platonically (?), the questions are flying fast.

    By Dan Savage

    Sexual fantasies are perfect, sexual realities are messy.

  • Is it safe to drink a litre of semen?

    Sure, it sounds kinda gross, but at least this Canadian "cumsumer" isn't hurting anyone, unlike those fascist assholes in trucks currently blocking border crossings.

    By Dan Savage

    This letter is not fake: It turns out there’s a thriving community of “cumbulls” online who enjoy supplying, and cumguzzlers who like imbibing.

  • Rooting around

    Your trusty sex advisor goes looking for answers about thorough prostate exams, but steers clear of a debate in the diaper community.

    By Dan Savage

    “I understand when someone wants their doctor to do a thorough exam,” says urologist Ashley Winter.

  • Sending a gift that sends the right message

    A reader wonders how to thank a friend without benefits, without weirdness.

    By Dan Savage

    Be sure to tell your friends in the States about shareabortionpill.info during these times straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale.

  • When a turn-on turns into a turn-off

    Warning: this week’s sex advice column contains math. But only a little bit.

    By Dan Savage

    Sometimes the past comes back to try to bite you in the ass.

  • Asking for a friend

    Wallowing after a breakup is fine, but the way to really get over it is to get out.

    By Dan Savage

    Get out of the house, do shit, go places, meet people—it’s standard advice because it’s excellent advice.

  • Short shorts from labels to labias

    Plus some straight talk to the straight guy who writes in to make a pass at Dan.

    By Dan Savage

    When it comes to labels, there are no identity cops out there with the power to make arrests or issue fines—there are only people who might find your shit annoying.

  • Backlot access but still a boring date

    Some people are too conceited and self-satisfied to realize they are the problem.

    By Dan Savage

    There’s a subtle difference between being an asshole and being up your own ass.

  • Female trouble

    From changing (adult) diapers to being (almost) happily single.

    By Dan Savage

    Female trouble

  • Tips for becoming a cuckquean or cuckold

    Making the scary leap from fantasy to reality involves not just good communication with your partner, but excessive communication.

    By Dan Savage

    Behold the elusive cuckquean—a rare flower, a black swan, a precious gem.

  • Do I have to disclose my STI?

    This is a situation where a partner’s reaction to one thing says everything.

    By Dan Savage

    Do I have to disclose my STI?

  • Mind the age gap

    “Things are often more complex than the online ‘age gap discourse’ acknowledges.”

    By Dan Savage

    Some very online people may label you a predator, but you aren’t obligated to slap that label on yourself.

  • Sexting, perving and crushing a crush

    Plus even more sex advice in a column full of quickies.

    By Dan Savage

    From one perv to others, Dan Savage thinks the term “perv” is perf.

  • Urine-fetish abuser pisses off the experts

    For the woman who hasn't peed in peace for 5 years, the advice is clear.

    By Dan Savage

    I’m not advocating violence, it’s just that I wanna figuratively slap your boyfriend upside the head.

  • How much homophobia is too much homophobia?

    Power tripping straight guy is confused by his fondness for teasing gay guys.

    By Dan Savage

    Many fetishes involve shame, stigma and prejudice.
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