Lifestyle

Savage Love

Shocking discovery from beyond the grave

Shocking discovery from beyond the grave

A reader needs help understanding—and forgiving.
QMy husband recently passed away.

By Dan Savage Oct 15, 2020

Trouble in the quad? Roger that.

Trouble in the quad? Roger that.

What to do when you want to be more than “friends who have sex sometimes.”
QI'm a thirtysomething gay man married to a thirtysomething gay man. For almost two years, we've been seeing another pair of married gay men around our age.

By Dan Savage Oct 1, 2020

How to handle missed connections

How to handle missed connections

What to do when things go wrong with a friend, with an escort and with a Trump-loving mom.
QMarried guy here.

By Dan Savage Sep 24, 2020

Taking it fast

Taking it fast

When a new relationship goes from dating to meet-my-kid way too quickly.
QI'm a straight man who’s been dating a woman for not quite four months.

By Dan Savage Sep 17, 2020

Why is choking even a thing?

Why is choking even a thing?

Porn is probably to blame, but no choke: Strangulation during sex is dangerous.
QI'm a 29-year-old straight woman in Pennsylvania. My question is to do with choking and consent.

By Dan Savage Sep 10, 2020

When divorce isn’t an option, try another d-word

When divorce isn’t an option, try another d-word

You don’t need permission from anybody to think about sexual fantasy figures.
QI’ve been married for 30 years to the same man. I have dealt with his tantrums, his screaming and his fits.

By Dan Savage Sep 3, 2020

It can be a tall order to reach a fantasy

It can be a tall order to reach a fantasy

But sometimes impossible fantasies are a way to avoid scary sex.
QI'm a cis male in my late twenties.

By Dan Savage Aug 27, 2020

Safety for size queens, '70s porn recommendations and more quickies

Safety for size queens, '70s porn recommendations and more quickies

Ask a simple question about diaper play, get a simple answer.
QI'm a 35-year-old woman.

By Dan Savage Aug 20, 2020

Married people problems

Married people problems

From cheating to borrowing used underwear to questioning the whole stressful institution.
QI’m a 38-year-old bi woman who has been sleeping with a married male coworker for the last eight months.

By Dan Savage Aug 17, 2020

Stating the obvious

Stating the obvious

Are you sure your awesome new lover’s kink is too strange?
QI'm a gay guy who’s involved with a guy I met a few months before COVID-19 took off. He's a great guy, smart, funny, hot, healthy and easy to be around. It started as a hookup but we have chemistry on several levels and, without either of us having to say it, we started seeing each other regularly. We both live alone and decided to be exclusive due to the pandemic.

By Dan Savage Aug 6, 2020

Why cheating doesn’t have to ruin a committed relationship

Why cheating doesn’t have to ruin a committed relationship

The culture encourages us to see infidelity as an unforgivable betrayal, which is ridiculous when you consider how common it is.
QIs it terrible to believe you can still have a truly monogamous and loving relationship with one partner after 20 years?

By Dan Savage Jul 24, 2020

Unplugging for your partner

Unplugging for your partner

However much you love your butt plugs and dildos, hopefully you love your wife more.
QMy wife asked me to write to you about our situation.

By Dan Savage Jul 16, 2020

How to get started as a couple of cucking dykes

How to get started as a couple of cucking dykes

It’s entirely possible for you and your partner to enjoy lesbian cuckolding fantasies while keeping your relationship monogamous on both sides.
QI’m a lesbian in a long-term relationship. After much conversation with my partner we’ve decided to explore cuckolding role-play together.

By Dan Savage Jul 13, 2020

The missing link about kinks

The missing link about kinks

A theory about why so many gay men want to be tied up and abused.
QI have a question.

By Dan Savage Jul 2, 2020

I don’t care about all those sexts blowing up my partner’s phone, but…

I don’t care about all those sexts blowing up my partner’s phone, but…

Even though I trust the attraction isn’t mutual, I still feel threatened. Help!
QI’m committed to my male partner and he’s committed to me.

By Dan Savage Jun 25, 2020

Straight guys doing gay things

Straight guys doing gay things

Featuring oral reports and a fantastically elaborate signoff from a dreamer.
QI’m a 32-year-old straight guy.

By Dan Savage Jun 18, 2020

Bonus quickies from the Lovestream

Bonus quickies from the Lovestream

When a mom friends an ex, sharing toys safely, pegging for beginners + + +.
Hey, Everybody: We had our first Savage Love Livestream event last Thursday night and I had such a blast! A huge crowd of Savage Love readers and Savage Lovecast listeners got together on Zoom for a live online Q&A that raised more than $14,000 for Northwest Harvest, an organization that supports food banks in my home state.

By Dan Savage Jun 11, 2020

Blinders

Blinders

When face-to-face sex is too intimidating, try a blindfold. (Hint: It’s useful and kinky.)
QHere goes: I’m a 32-year-old gay male and I have trouble staying out of my head during sex. I feel like there may be many issues. The one non-issue is everything works fine on my own. When I’m single or “available,” I am OK. Let’s be honest: I'm a slut and I enjoy it. 

By Dan Savage Jun 4, 2020

Can people be bad at sex?

Can people be bad at sex?

Where objectivity meets subjectivity, plus lots more quickie questions.
QI don't want to become one of those people who write to you complaining about how I married someone I wasn't sexually compatible with 10 years ago and now my sex life still sucks.

By Dan Savage May 28, 2020

Power players

Power players

Getting turned on by Nazis, and worried about the kinksters next door.
QHere's a non-COVID question for you: I’m a queer white female in a monogamish marriage.

By Dan Savage May 21, 2020

Is it a problem if my horrible boyfriend leaves?

Is it a problem if my horrible boyfriend leaves?

Plus: Do I have to tell him he’s got herpes?
QIt's taken a lot to do this, but here goes.

By Dan Savage May 14, 2020

One marriage, two sex drives

One marriage, two sex drives

What to do when half of a couple wants something the other half isn’t into.
QI’ve been with the same amazing man a dozen years.

By Dan Savage May 7, 2020

How much libido is too much libido?

How much libido is too much libido?

"A lot of people will say they wish they had this problem, but it’s interfering with my daily activities because I can’t focus on anything else."
QI'm a 31-year-old female.

By Dan Savage Apr 30, 2020

Stop with the secrets already

Stop with the secrets already

Except for one that’s important to your wife’s self esteem.
Q I was raised in a religious home and didn’t lose my virginity until the embarrassing age of 26.

By Dan Savage Apr 23, 2020

The trouble with swallowing and more quickie answers to sex questions

The trouble with swallowing and more quickie answers to sex questions

Does this column have cheating? Check. Feeling constrained by monogamy? Check. Absolutely no mention of world health problems? Checkity check.
QI am a super-queer-presenting female who recently accepted that I have desires for men. My partner of two years is bisexual and understands the desires, but has personally dealt with those desires via masturbation while my desires include acting. Her perspective is that the grass is greener where you water it and that my desire to act is immature, selfish and has an unrealistic end game. What gives when you don't feel fulfilled sexually in a monogamous relationship? —Open Or Over?

By Dan Savage Apr 16, 2020

The no-pandemic challenge

The no-pandemic challenge

By popular demand, this week’s "Savage Love" is (almost) COVID-19-free.
QYour last two columns and your last two podcasts were all about the

By Dan Savage Apr 11, 2020

More »

C19 Need to Know

In Print This Week

Vol 28, No 2
October 15, 2020

Cover Gallery »

Real Time Web Analytics

© 2020 Coast Publishing Ltd.