Savage Love

Only for now

Where is my relationship going? I like the warm feelings of love and lust I’m finally experiencing after a long time, but I am nevertheless unsatisfied

By Dan Savage

QI'm a 28-year-old queer woman. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, as it was impossible for me to make a physical or emotional connection with anyone after I was raped four years ago...

  • Sextra! Sextra! Get your quickies here!

    Enjoy a load of sex advice short snappers, from pube preferences to pee play.

    By Dan Savage

  • Age against the machine

    “I’m a 60-something cis woman with a 30-something cis man lover…”

    By Dan Savage

  • Lay Misérables

    Is it healthy to masturbate about a dead lover?

    By Dan Savage

  • How to deal with jealousy in poly paradise

    “I want to feel queerer and a little less mainstream!”

    By Dan Savage

  • Sub optimal

    “I want to be a good gay uncle, but honestly, I'm an objectively poor role model”

    By Dan Savage

  • Sex-advice quickies

    From dating a friend's ex to dating a sister's ex to drinking pee platonically (?), the questions are flying fast.

    By Dan Savage

  • Is it safe to drink a litre of semen?

    Sure, it sounds kinda gross, but at least this Canadian "cumsumer" isn't hurting anyone, unlike those fascist assholes in trucks currently blocking border crossings.

    By Dan Savage

  • Rooting around

    Your trusty sex advisor goes looking for answers about thorough prostate exams, but steers clear of a debate in the diaper community.

    By Dan Savage

  • Sending a gift that sends the right message

    A reader wonders how to thank a friend without benefits, without weirdness.

    By Dan Savage

  • When a turn-on turns into a turn-off

    Warning: this week’s sex advice column contains math. But only a little bit.

    By Dan Savage

  • Asking for a friend

    Wallowing after a breakup is fine, but the way to really get over it is to get out.

    By Dan Savage

  • Short shorts from labels to labias

    Plus some straight talk to the straight guy who writes in to make a pass at Dan.

    By Dan Savage

  • Backlot access but still a boring date

    Some people are too conceited and self-satisfied to realize they are the problem.

    By Dan Savage

  • Female trouble

    From changing (adult) diapers to being (almost) happily single.

    By Dan Savage

  • Tips for becoming a cuckquean or cuckold

    Making the scary leap from fantasy to reality involves not just good communication with your partner, but excessive communication.

    By Dan Savage

  • Do I have to disclose my STI?

    This is a situation where a partner’s reaction to one thing says everything.

    By Dan Savage

  • Mind the age gap

    “Things are often more complex than the online ‘age gap discourse’ acknowledges.”

    By Dan Savage

  • Sexting, perving and crushing a crush

    Plus even more sex advice in a column full of quickies.

    By Dan Savage

  • Urine-fetish abuser pisses off the experts

    For the woman who hasn't peed in peace for 5 years, the advice is clear.

    By Dan Savage

  • How much homophobia is too much homophobia?

    Power tripping straight guy is confused by his fondness for teasing gay guys.

    By Dan Savage

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