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Savage Love

Sexual healing in the sub space

How a Dom/sub relationship may help ward off self-harm habits.

Q I'm a 26-year-old bisexual woman with a history of self-harm.

By Dan Savage Jan 16, 2020

Sex | Sex + Dating | Sex Advice | relationships

Short (and sweet) Qs and As

From anal porn, nudes, lube and everything in between, Dan Savage has answers.

Q I have a question about porn, and I can't think who else I can ask that will give me an intelligent, educated answer.

By Dan Savage Jan 9, 2020

Open communication

How NOT to circumnavigate your open-ended relationship.

Q I'm a mid-20s cis straight man. After my girlfriend and I finished college, she moved overseas to start her job.

By Dan Savage Dec 26, 2019

Bloody business

Why you shouldn’t (always) freak out about blood in your cum. Plus: Always read the fine print.

Q I am a 60-year-old heterosexual man, and I'm told that I'm normal.

By Dan Savage Dec 19, 2019

Sex Sex + Dating Sex Advice relationships

Taming the kink monsters

When your partner’s kinks are hard to understand and harder to get on board with.

Q My husband and I (straight male/bi female couple) have been married 15 years. When we met, he was inexperienced and crippled by shame from having grown up in a sex-negative atmosphere.

By Dan Savage Dec 12, 2019

Quick and dirty Qs and As

Dan Savage’s reply all, from the mundane to the not-so-mundane.

Q My ex-girlfriend, who I dated for nine months, called me two months after we broke up and accused me of giving her HPV.

By Dan Savage Dec 5, 2019

Sex Sex + Dating Sex Advice relationships

PO’d about P-in-V

Asking for more from an anxious partner can be difficult, Dan Savage has tips.

QI'm a heterosexual cis woman in a monogamous marriage.

By Dan Savage Nov 28, 2019

Hot for student

The risks of professor-student hook-ups Plus: How to juggle IRL and online relationships.

Q I'm a 40-something gay male professor at a small college.

By Dan Savage Nov 21, 2019

Sissy that talk

How can I stop my heterosuckual boyfriend from being jealous when I get more attention at kink parties?

Q My boyfriend and I met online to explore our kinks.

By Dan Savage Nov 14, 2019

Sex Sex + Dating Sex Advice relationships

The man show

How to get my peer group to reject the rapey guy. Plus: My condition for letting a married friend have sex with me.

Q I am male.

Nov 7, 2019

Quickie thinking

From "don’t touch me" vibes to sex work as a second job, the Qs and As are coming fast.

Q My little dick has always held me back.

By Dan Savage Oct 31, 2019

Sex Sex + Dating Sex Advice relationships

Cheaters’ club

How a couple of scandalous sluts can make a relationship work. Plus: The best way to tell the husband it’s over.

Q I am a guy in my 40s and a classic sexual scoundrel.

By Dan Savage Oct 24, 2019

Why we set impossibly high standards

Sometimes it’s not them, it really is you. Plus: Dealing with your relative’s porn collection.

QI'm a Seattle local who basically grew up reading your column.

By Dan Savage Oct 17, 2019

Sex Sex + Dating Sex Advice relationships

Three-city swing

An over-abundance of sexy quickies and relationship advice, for questions brought back from a Savage Love Live tour.

We brought Savage Love Live to the Music Box Theatre in Chicago, the Barrymore Theatre in Madison, Wisconsin and the Pantages Theatre in Minneapolis over three nights.

By Dan Savage Oct 10, 2019

Bad guys

A blow-and-go arrangement only works if it gets you off. Plus: Why saying the word “vagina” is important.

QI met a guy right around the time my boyfriend dumped me. I met him on a dating site, but he was really only interested in my boobs and me giving him head.

By Dan Savage Oct 3, 2019