Dick monsters

Dick monsters

You don’t have to be kind to aggressive randos just because they brought booze. Plus: Reaching the limit with intolerant parents.
Q I'm a queer girl living with a male partner.

Quick hits

Savage answers leftover questions from his recent visit to Denver, Colorado for Savage Love Live
Q I enjoyed a great sex life with many kinky adventures until my husband died suddenly two years ago.

Pedestrian as fuck

TFW your penis is bent at a right angle. Plus: Some advice on foreplay for a penis-haver on SSRIs who has trouble finishing.
Q First let me say that I think you give excellent advice, even if it is a bit pedestrian at times.

A few quickies

When nobody makes the “first move,” sex doesn’t happen. Plus: Is it fair to ask my partner to stop manscaping if it turns me off?
Q I wish I had a better question, but this is all I have: My friends and I were discussing the nuances of a straight orgy (a roughly equal number of male and female participants) versus a gang bang (one woman, many men), and we observed that there is no proper name for a one man, many women situation.

Seriously shitty husbands

A serial cheater wants the best exit strategy possible exit strategy from his marriage. Plus: Can a half-open relationship work?
Q I’m a straight male in my 30s.

The land down under

Can fisting or anal sex actually cause constipation? Plus: Why is my GF resistant to oral sex if she (seems to) enjoy it?
Q Background: I, a 21-year-old male, enjoy receptive fisting.

Call for submissions

Getting past sexual trauma. Plus: How do I confront my partner about cheating when I only found out because I was snooping?
Q I’m a 36-year-old straight woman.

Quick Hits

Savage responds to the questions he didn’t get to answer during his recent visit to Royal Oak, Michigan for Savage Love Live.
Q Is there a way of breaking my cycle of being totally sexual and into someone for the first six months and then shutting down to the point that I don’t want to be sexual with them at all?

Cock it, locked it and block it

The conundrum of the cock piercing and the chastity belt. Plus: I like my GF, but I don’t want her to live with me yet.
Q I’m in a D/s relationship.

Ace and the hole

Is my friend ace even though she actively seeks out sex? Online: How to turn someone down when you’re married.
Q I’m a 26-year-old cis queer woman.

What is love?

My boyfriend says he can’t feel, are we doomed? Plus: My partner suggested a threesome, I balked, and now he won’t shut up.
Q I'm a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man. We've been dating for about eight months; it is exclusive and official.

Porn preferences

We all have different porn preferences and that’s OK. Plus: Dan “dansplains” what it means to objectify another person.
Q I'm an 18-year-old cis hetero girl from Australia and I've been listening to your podcast and reading your column since I was 13.

A handful of quickies

We don’t want to kink-shame, but some things are weirder than others. Plus: How close is too close for man’s best friend?
Q I recently stumbled on an Instagram account of a young woman who’s a “knife play” enthusiast.

The art of getting bi

Is my fear of my BF leaving me just a symptom of internalized biphobia? Plus: How to deal with his possible hormonal disorder.
Q I'm an 18-year-old female. I'm cisgender and bisexual.

Them’s fighting words

A poly relationship becomes troubled when two girlfriends disike each other. Plus: When to deal with an abuser in the family.
Q I’m a 24-year-old nonbinary person living in Florida.

Showing up’s the first step

A couple of these questions lead Dan to believe the correspondents are not trying hard enough. Plus: LRT or FWB?
Q How does one get into the gay BDSM bottoming and leather scene?

Breaking the lesbian code

There are a lot of signals flying around this week, but women aren’t sure how to read them. Plus: My partner’s friend is an ass.
Q I am a 38-year-old lesbian, very femme, very out.

Mother dear, friend queer

Why you shouldn’t reveal an incestuous relationship to your partner during “truth or dare.” Plus: Repressed homosexuality?
Q My father left my mother abruptly when I was 14 years old, and he hasn’t contacted either of us since.

Bloody business deals

Blood in semen doesn’t mean your partner is a member of the legion of the undead. Plus: An older dude who is still “hot to trot.”
Q I’m a professional dominatrix, and I thought I’d seen everything in the last five years.

Daddies, worms and dirt

A man gets introduced to the “daddy phenomenon” via dating apps. Plus: TFW a coworker wants you to bang his wife.
Q I’m a 67-year-old gay man. After a breakup 15 years ago, I believed the possibility of emotional and sexual intimacy with a partner was over for me. Then a couple of months ago, my desire for sexual contact increased dramatically. For the first time, I began using apps, and I felt like the proverbial kid in a candy store; it seemed strangely similar to when I first came out in San Francisco’s Castro neighbourhood in the early 1970s.

The ex hex

Is harmless flirtation with my ex-husband disrespectful to my current partner? Plus: Get rid of that inconsiderate Dominant.
Q I married my high-school sweetheart at 17, had a baby, together a few years, mental illness and subsequent infidelity led to things ending.

Archive Spotlight »
Savage Love

No need for sex


No need for sex

posted by DAN SAVAGE, May 28/15

I haven’t had sex in nine years and I don’t care. Am I asexual? Plus: Does my boyfriend’s love of thongs mean he’s gay? comments      0

In Print This Week

Vol 25, No 51
May 17, 2018

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