Hopelessly devotee to you

Finding the line between attraction and objectification. Plus: Looking for a safe partner to indulge my no-sex kink.
Q I am a 56-year-old heterosexual man, and I have lived with ALS for the past six years.


Featuring a challenge that’s perfect for Nova Scotia: Coming up with a definition for the expression “with extra lobster.”
Q Can I still be considered sex-positive if I personally do not have sex?

Omissions and emissions

Why it’s OK to lie to guys who hate condoms. Plus: Urine luck.
Q I'm a 21-year-old woman, and I have an IUD for birth control.

Furry road

When you’re a woman, not a cartoon, and therefore can’t do it all for your man. Plus: The ultimate guide to all things cuckolding.
QI'm an early-30s hetero woman in a monogamous relationship with my mid-30s hetero guy.

One breakup, one brake on

A middle-age love quadrangle teaches us not to get your lover to help buy your wife’s Christmas present. Plus: DTMFA!
Q I'm a thirtysomething straight woman married for 16 years.

Men suck. PLUS: Men still suck.

Q I'm a 40-year-old guy with a 30-year-old girlfriend.

Lost kinkster

Advice from Alexander Cheves on how to re-kindle your kink community in the post-Tumblr-pocalypse.
Q I'm a 19-year-old bisexual woman really into orgasm denial and edging.


A hot ‘you-life-is-a-monstrous-affront-to-God’ take. Plus: Face-sitting fury and keeping revenge porn in the family.
Q I'm a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for me—specifically, submissive guys into face-sitting.

Slight Christmas

Family sucks but porn on Tumblr didn’t. Plus: Age is just a number, but a number not worth lying about.
Q Straight and married but not boring, and heading to my parents' house for our first family Christmas since my asshole MAGA brother "stumbled over" the Tumblr blog where the wife and I posted about our sexual adventures.

Cringe and purge

Urologist Ashley Winter talks penis problems. Plus: Being practical about anal-sex exploration.
Q I'm a 59-year-old man in good health.

Shake that moody

Thoughtful questions about the difference between “risky” manic bipolar sex and kink. Plus: Drag ≠ blackface.
QI'm a 30-year-old, Asian American, hetero-flexible cis woman.


When to tell your partner you’re thinking of escort work. Plus: “Do some women actually enjoy anal?”
Q I'm a recently divorced single mom and full-time student.

Bound and gagging

When browsing for bondage, education comes first and play partners come second. PLUS: Is “trying to be cool” worth it?
Q I've always wanted to tie girls up, but I can never convince a woman to let me. Lately, I've been exploring "bondage singles" sites online, but I'm totally new to this.

Is my normal abnormal?

Seeing his peers settling down and having kids, a kinky bi guy wonders if he’s broken. Plus: A brother’s rubber love.
Q I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about myself and my sexuality and my romantic self.


How to help your vag bounce back from baby birthing Plus: Which is better for getting my kink fix: dating apps or an escort?
Q I'm a 40-year-old married straight woman.

Meow and forever

Amp Somers paws out advice on kitten kinks, queens and toms. Plus: Friends who abuse your boundaries are not friends
Q Hi, Dan: I am a homosexual young adult seeking advice about kitten play.

Jerkin’ Jacks

What to do when your employee shows up at your local Jacks club. Plus: How do I get used to my wife's budding bisexuality?
QI have a secret: For the past three months, I've been attending a local Jacks club (a men-only masturbation event).


Dan dishes the dirt on kid kinks and old virgins. Plus: Relax, nobody “just knows.”
Q I was involved with a straight man who enjoys cross-dressing and taking explicit photos.

Hearts and mindfulness

Can two people in a loving, committed, no-sex relationship restart their sex life?
Q Is it even possible for a couple that stopped having sex to start back up again?

Needs and deeds

The fine line between “carefully broaching” and “being vague” Plus: Cuckqueans and cuckolds
QI'm a 62-year-old woman.

Archive Spotlight »
Savage Love

No need for sex


No need for sex

posted by DAN SAVAGE, May 28/15

I haven’t had sex in nine years and I don’t care. Am I asexual? Plus: Does my boyfriend’s love of thongs mean he’s gay? comments      0

In Print This Week

Vol 26, No 38
February 14, 2019

Cover Gallery »

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