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Savage Love

Hopelessly devotee to you

Finding the line between attraction and objectification. Plus: Looking for a safe partner to indulge my no-sex kink.

Q I am a 56-year-old heterosexual man, and I have lived with ALS for the past six years.

By Dan Savage Feb 14, 2019

Quickies

Featuring a challenge that’s perfect for Nova Scotia: Coming up with a definition for the expression “with extra lobster.”

Q Can I still be considered sex-positive if I personally do not have sex?

By Dan Savage Feb 7, 2019

Omissions and emissions

Why it’s OK to lie to guys who hate condoms. Plus: Urine luck.

Q I'm a 21-year-old woman, and I have an IUD for birth control.

By Dan Savage Jan 31, 2019

Furry road

When you’re a woman, not a cartoon, and therefore can’t do it all for your man. Plus: The ultimate guide to all things cuckolding.

QI'm an early-30s hetero woman in a monogamous relationship with my mid-30s hetero guy.

By Dan Savage Jan 24, 2019

One breakup, one brake on

A middle-age love quadrangle teaches us not to get your lover to help buy your wife’s Christmas present. Plus: DTMFA!

Q I'm a thirtysomething straight woman married for 16 years.

By Dan Savage Jan 17, 2019

Men suck. PLUS: Men still suck.

Q I'm a 40-year-old guy with a 30-year-old girlfriend.

By Dan Savage Jan 10, 2019

Lost kinkster

Advice from Alexander Cheves on how to re-kindle your kink community in the post-Tumblr-pocalypse.

Q I'm a 19-year-old bisexual woman really into orgasm denial and edging.

By Dan Savage Jan 3, 2019

Quikies

A hot ‘you-life-is-a-monstrous-affront-to-God’ take. Plus: Face-sitting fury and keeping revenge porn in the family.

Q I'm a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for me—specifically, submissive guys into face-sitting.

By Dan Savage Dec 20, 2018

Slight Christmas

Family sucks but porn on Tumblr didn’t. Plus: Age is just a number, but a number not worth lying about.

Q Straight and married but not boring, and heading to my parents' house for our first family Christmas since my asshole MAGA brother "stumbled over" the Tumblr blog where the wife and I posted about our sexual adventures.

By Dan Savage Dec 13, 2018

Cringe and purge

Urologist Ashley Winter talks penis problems. Plus: Being practical about anal-sex exploration.

Q I'm a 59-year-old man in good health.

By Dan Savage Dec 6, 2018

Shake that moody

Thoughtful questions about the difference between “risky” manic bipolar sex and kink. Plus: Drag ≠ blackface.

QI'm a 30-year-old, Asian American, hetero-flexible cis woman.

By Dan Savage Nov 29, 2018

Stressfest

When to tell your partner you’re thinking of escort work. Plus: “Do some women actually enjoy anal?”

Q I'm a recently divorced single mom and full-time student.

By Dan Savage Nov 22, 2018

Bound and gagging

When browsing for bondage, education comes first and play partners come second. PLUS: Is “trying to be cool” worth it?

Q I've always wanted to tie girls up, but I can never convince a woman to let me. Lately, I've been exploring "bondage singles" sites online, but I'm totally new to this.

By Dan Savage Nov 15, 2018