Sex and the curious shopper

Sex and the curious shopper

Advice on shopping around for male sex workers, used sneakers for a shoe perv and gay gear for straight people.
Q I'm a straight cis woman in my early 40s and a single mother.

Kink conundrums

How do I find a woman to indulge my diaper play? Plus: My mom has too many opinions about my Dom boyfriend.
QI'm a 27-year-old, male, adult baby/diaper lover (AB/DL).


Dan hit Seattle and Denver for some live events and the response was overhwhelming. Here are some answers he couldn’t get to.
Savage Love Live swooped into Seattle's Egyptian Theater and Denver's Oriental Theater over the last two weekends.

With empathy, or not

In a rare non-sex question, Dan—with help—tackles a woman’s co-dependent relationship with her best friend.
Q I keep running into the same issue with my best friend of five years.

Decent disclosure

A lesson on herpes: The statistics, the social stigma and the responsbility of telling sexual partners.
Q Garbage human here.

Best wishes

When thinking with one’s genitals, one can be led astray from common sense, logic or what’s actually happpening.
QI'm a 43-year-old straight woman, and I spent the majority of my 30s celibate.


A real gamut of queries on offer, from open relationships to a variation on cuckolding to the pleasure of itchy butts.
Q I've been with my boyfriend for a few months.

The Liked boys

I wanted to warn my best friend’s dad that his online activity was too revealing. Now I think it could be an ever bigger problem.
QMy best friend's father is an avid user of social media.

Secrets and replies

Am I a bad person for snooping through my girlfriend’s emails to confirm a suspicion? Plus: Do I tell my friend about my crush?
QWhen I first started dating my girlfriend, I asked her about past boyfriends and she said she hadn't met the right guy yet.

Catfishing for advice

I’m engaged in an online emotional affair. My husband doesn’t know I have a boyfriend and vice versa. Now what?
Q I'm a heteroflexible married cis woman in my 40s.

Parts and departures

I’ve developed a trans attraction, how do I handle it respectfully? Plus: I’m newly presenting male, how do I hit the gay bars?
QI'm an adult man, and I have developed a trans attraction after following a particular Tumblr blog.

Quick hits from Savage Love Live in Portland

After Dan's visit to Oregon, he answers some of the questions he couldn’t get to live.
Savage Love Live recently stormed into Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon.

Race relationships

Is dating people of a specific race, after doing it once later in life, a problematic thing? Plus: Bisexual(ish) problems.
Q I'm a white woman in my early 30s.

Neverland’s impact

My grandfather sexually abused many children, including my mom. Now what? Dan: Watch the searing Leaving Neverland.
QMy grandfather was a pillar of the community and beloved by his family.

The edge of revelations

Do I owe it to a first date to disclose that I practice edging? Plus: I’m trying to be open to bottoming, but I can’t make it work.
QLet's say my kink is edging and I edge myself for a few days leading up to a date.

Outer limits

Dan addresses some of the grey area of being with a partially out—or secretly in— queer person.
Q I'm a gay guy in my late 40s with a straight sister in her early 50s.

Archive Spotlight »
Savage Love

No need for sex


No need for sex

posted by DAN SAVAGE, May 28/15

I haven’t had sex in nine years and I don’t care. Am I asexual? Plus: Does my boyfriend’s love of thongs mean he’s gay? comments      0

In Print This Week Issue Cover

In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 3
June 13, 2019

Cover Gallery »

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