Three-city swing

Three-city swing

An over-abundance of sexy quickies and relationship advice, for questions brought back from a Savage Love Live tour.
We brought Savage Love Live to the Music Box Theatre in Chicago, the Barrymore Theatre in Madison, Wisconsin and the Pantages Theatre in Minneapolis over three nights.

Bad guys

A blow-and-go arrangement only works if it gets you off. Plus: Why saying the word “vagina” is important.
QI met a guy right around the time my boyfriend dumped me. I met him on a dating site, but he was really only interested in my boobs and me giving him head.

Mom and I know about dad’s cross-dressing kink

But when it comes to sex and secrets, do we have to tell him?
Q I'm a 35-year-old bisexual man in a LTR with a man. My question, however, has to do with my parents.

Parenting the pubescent bondage kinkster

How to do right by a 12-year-old son who’s really into handcuffs.
Q My son has always liked handcuffs and tying people up as a form of play.

Fists of pleasure, fists of roommate irritation

Opening wide about which fisting concerns are valid, and how strap-ons compare to dildos.
Q My roommate is a gay man who is into getting fisted.

What’s the deal with physical ideals?

How far to go with a boyfriend who’s really into the "suicide girl" look.
QI don’t listen to your podcast religiously, but as soon as I told my best friend this story, she said, “That’s a question for Dan Savage!” Backstory: I have a monogamous partner who I live with.

Come the Women’s Pleasure Revolution

What it’s going to take for a woman to stop getting used by the men she sleeps with, and start getting off.
QI’m a straight woman and have been sexually active for about six years.

From bukkake to sexsomnia, simple answers to sex questions

Including unicorns, "jizz" versus "come" and loads of other quickies.
Q I took Molly with my best bud. We wound up cuddling and telling each other everything.

What happened to the rest of my dick?

An investigation of shrinkage and other penis problems.
Q I’m an otherwise healthy male of 54.

Do I forgive him or do I forget him?

My new boyfriend seems pretty great, except for that one horrible thing he did that was totally crossing boundaries.
Q I’m a 42-year-old single, straight female who recently started dating a 36-year-old man in a somewhat exclusive, long-distance relationship.

Boredom is her enemy

Hard truths—backed by science!—about what typical sex advisors get totally wrong about female sexuality.
Q I'm a woman who married young (21) and I've been with my husband for seven years.

Fingering it out

My wife isn’t into my prostate play idea but also, are there health issues? Plus: Can I dump a hookup going through a bad time?
QI'm a 36-year-old straight guy, happily married for more than 10 years and a longtime reader.

Cuckold tales

Why do I get off on hearing my wife’s past sex stories? Plus: My partner stopped indulging my fantasies after the kids.
QI am a bi married man—35 years old and living in a big Midwestern city.

Loads of sex questions answered in quick hits

A series of rapid-fire advice on exes, pedophilia, erectile dysfunction, non-consensual porn and prostate stimulation.
Q My fiance and I have been in a relationship for 11 years.

Sex with a prejudicial interest

How to deal with your new partner's low-key racism, and what to do when white people are ogling you in your apartment.
QI'm a man from a very liberal background.

Quietly kinky

I am a gay man into bondage but I’m also an introvert. How to convince other kinksters I’m part of their group?
QI'm a single gay guy in my late 30s.

Archive Spotlight »
Savage Love

No need for sex


No need for sex

posted by DAN SAVAGE, May 28/15

I haven’t had sex in nine years and I don’t care. Am I asexual? Plus: Does my boyfriend’s love of thongs mean he’s gay? comments      0

In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 20
October 10, 2019

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