The very definition of lugubrious, Night at the Museum: Battle for the
Smithsonian is most infuriating for its condescension. In case we didn’t get that this is a fantasy, anything remotely magical is accompanied by tinkling chimes over the soundtrack. If we did not believe that this is, in fact, a comedy, alleged comedians like Christopher Guest and Ben Stiller stuff the film full of meandering riffs that were probably hilarious on set but are interminable to sit through. And if we realized there was no genuine meaning to any of this drivel, the script tacks on some horseshit moral, straight from Hollywood’s Rolodex of questionable life lessons to insert into shallow films, that says you can’t have a successful career and nurturing relationships at the same time. Museum is the most offensive of inoffensive programming. --Hillary Titley