Near, far...well, near, actually

Tara Thorne balances out all that music news, right here.

Though we’re more against Titanic-related things than the rightful soul under the J.Dawson grave marker over at Fairview Lawn, a few years ago we saw a production of Scotland Road close out the most ambitious, awesome season Shakespeare by the Sea has ever had.

That’s why we’re in full support of Theatre Arts Guild’s version of the play, a crackling drama opening this week out at the Pond Playhouse. A woman is found drifting on an ice floe in the North Atlantic, dressed in 19th century clothing, and when she finally talks all she says is “Titanic.” (She does not, unfortunately, follow up with “One of the most overrated movies ever made, right? I mean, you know a guy for like a day and then he sinks to the bottom of the ocean and you’re expected to pine for him, like, for life? Just because he has floppy hair and controls you in a less obvious way than your much manlier fiance? Honestly! My heart will go on, my ass.”) A pair of doctors try to uncork her bottle of lies in a battle of truth versus reality versus exploitation (versus a touch of frostbite, we imagine).

Directed by TAG vet Nick Jupp, Scotland Road opens February 15 and runs Thursdays to Saturdays with one Sunday matinee on February 25. Tickets are $12/$15 and can be reserved (we recommend it) online at or by calling 477-2663.

Bottled up

The Genie Awards were handed out in Toronto on February 13, though you probably didn’t see them if you don’t have cable—or even if you do, let’s be honest—because hey, why would a major Canadian network carry a national awards show for Canadian movies? Hello, there were two new Law and Orders and the “most important” American Idol ever to air! We can’t let a single Canuck watch an American show on its own network in its own timeslot in order to support the national film industry in any way!

(What is the problem getting us out to our own movies, again?)

Anyway, the Trailer Park Boys film was up for some hardware but was predictably trounced by the Franglais Bon Cop, Bad Cop (Bon sigh, bad sigh) and Maurice Richard/The Rocket, because if we know anything in this country, it’s Hockey is Always Yes.

We bring this up at all because JenniferThe CorporationBaichwal won Best Documentary for her riveting, wholly depressing Manufactured Landscapes, about photographer Edward Burtynsky and how China is the world’s biggest e-landfill (the two things relate, trust us). It played at the Toronto, Atlantic and Sundance film festivals, and opens in Halifax on February 23.

Do blog entry printouts count?

Eyelevel Gallery has an opening for you to bare your soul, but not through art, exactly. The gallery is looking for readers for its Dear Diary event, happening March 9 in a location TBD.

We’ll let their press release tell you the deets, because it’s one of the better ones we’ve gotten lately: “Have you ever professed your lust by letter? Write it in blood? Eyelevel Gallery is looking for your most heart-retching diary entries, pathetic notes of passion, confessions of revenge and ridiculous resolutions. Words that now make you cringe or wonder, ‘What the heck was I thinking?’ Words that you don’t mind sharing with a room of strangers.”

Send a scan to director@> or a photocopy to 2128 Gottingen, B3K 3B3 and start working on your performance. The night is open to journallers across Canada—if you don’t live here, your entry will be read by a local who will “interpret your words with kindness and spirit.” A-hem.

Live from Halifax, it’s Location TBD

March is looking to be a busy audition month for those who believe it’s your birthright to be famous. (Everyone in this generation appears to, if American Idol is any indication, and let’s face it, it is.) Canadian Idol takes over the Halifax Shopping Centre on March 24 and 25, while a few days later on March 28 a show we can actually get behind will be here trying to cast. The Second City’s The Next Comedy Legend is a new reality program aiming to find the country’s hottest new sketch comic, who will get a slot at the famed Second City in Toronto. Second City is still, after all these years, a breeding ground for Saturday Night Live, and launched the careers of Catherine O’Hara, Mike Myers, Tina Fey and the late Gilda Radner and John Candy. The audition spot hasn’t been nailed down yet, but we’ll let you know when it is.

Prepare your monologue. Email:

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