Mal Amal 
Member since Jan 23, 2013

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Re: “A history of violence perpetuated

Your family situation sounds horrific, and I hope you can overcome the burden of generational trauma - for your own healing and to the benefit of those you love.

Patriarchy and Feminism have nothing to do with your Grandmother being a violent, abusive asshole. She was an active moral agent, part of our community, your family, and completely able to exercise choice and free will, despite any external influence. This is a basic truth about every human being in every society.

She wasn't able to go on abusing your family for decades because of our culture's rigid gender stereotypes and the patriarchal nature of our most trusted institutions. She was able to go on abusing your family for decades because she made that choice with the pre-knowledge of family confidentiality. If nobody ever called the police, then you'll never know how society would have responded, patriarchal or not. Sounds like no one exercised free will there either, and I feel intimate family violence is a completely different animal than random violence for obvious reasons.

Not sure if she wore the steel-toed boots or if you're talking about her passing down violence to the male members of your family who shot pets, etc., but that's only because you made that unclear. You list a lot of examples of extreme violence within your family - crimes worthy of life sentences, yet the point of your post seems to be you and your family have to fear a guy who put up some posters. I don't see the connection. Do you seriously publicly declare it's reasonable your wish to tell us who you are and where you came from can't come true

It seems like histrionics...like the person who gets on a plane and worries about an Islamic-looking person who might blow it up rather than looking at the possibility of engine failure which downs more planes than Muslim extremists.

There's something fucky about your post. It goes instantly from a personal testimony of identifying a matriarch abusing your people to being afraid of a poster and talking about these MRA folks like they have any impact in your life that even remotely approaches the impact of your grandmother who, if still alive, desperately needs help and healing, and should be embraced if she makes an attempt at reconciliation. Or jail.

I don't know why you didn't just come out and say MRA's are assholes, just like ma granny!

I hope you heal and good luck.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Mal Amal on 07/24/2014 at 2:02 AM

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