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Major Lazer 

Guns don't kill people, Lazers do (Mad Decent)

They say Major Lazer is a Jamaican commando who lost his arms in the secret zombie wars of '84 and had them replaced by Lazers. It's the perfect backyard barbecue album where Diplo and Switch and all the MCs would hang out. I would be the whitest person there and get all uncomfortable and drink myself into a stupor in the corner, working up the courage to say something to Santigold, even though it would come out: "Hey, oh my god, did you date Trevor Andrew? I had a beer with him once at the Dome, like 10 years ago," and then I'd pass out and the most awesome dancehall party the world has ever seen would happen around me while I was in the fetal position under a picnic table.

Hold The Line (Danny Scrilla Dubstep Remix) - Major Lazer

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More by Loukas Crowther

Survey Asks

What use would you like to see for the old Spring Garden Road library?

  • Acadian cultural centre
  • Municipal archive and museum
  • Bulldoze it and make a park
  • Let it rot
  • None of the above

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Vol 25, No 12
August 17, 2017

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