The sex was off the fucking hook. Of the many things I liked about her, top of the list was her ravenous appetite for me. She was so relaxed and engaged.

Not to say I've had armies of partners to compare (that I've reached double digits probably makes me typical for my cohort)but I've been with women who expect the man to do everything for them. We worship at their bodies, sure, but a token of imagination and enthusiasm in return butters the bread. It's not our fault we're so simply and easily pleased, but that doesn't mean ladies should get away with sloth any more than us guys.

But this particular partner, wow. I loved the softness of her curves, the length of her throat and the gentle but firm touch of her fingers. I loved how she was up for trying new things.

I was thinking about her recently, dreamily reminiscing, you might say. And I was thinking about kinks. It's not very often I've been asked to please what I would consider a radical request from a lover. No one's asked me to dip into S&M, for example. Pain isn't a turn-on for me, but I aim to please. I get excited by the arousal of my partner, so if she wanted me to bite her ears and affix clothespins to her nipples, I'd be down with it.

I've engaged in some mild bondage, silk scarves and blindfolds. I've employed toys, feathers and food. I've had email-sex, IM-sex and phone-sex. (Skype-sex...not yet.) But none of these things are freaky. A kink can be a fetish, an obsessive and unusual act, but I've always felt to qualify as a genuine kink it had to be a little further out there. Everyone's sent a lusty email once or twice, but who gets turned on by having their elbows licked? Anyone get hot over cucumbers, fire hoses and nuns? Now we're talking. Where did I leave my habit?

The partner in question, so good, giving and game---her kink was anal love and she would orgasm within half-a-dozen strokes. But given the ubiquity of hetero assplay---if mainstream porn is any indicator---does a fascination with the derriere even qualify as taboo anymore? Is it a kink in anything but name?

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