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Let's talk about that elephant in the closet, BC. 

C'mon, Wink, wink. What you're REALLY known for all over the world. Don't hide it -- pass it around!

When the fabulous Geist magazine published some of the guidelines of "how to talk to dignitaries" written by the City of Vancouver,

DIGRESSION: (excerpt from protocols)

"As Protocol Host you have the opportunity to promote Van– couver to the dignitary. Take this opportunity to highlight First Nations culture, museums, City history, public art, etc."

and

"Avoid speaking loudly if you feel you are not being understood. Speak calmly and with clarity."

I couldn't help but feel the need to ask you to be honest and proud, BC, of what you are really known for.

Vancouverites, as a person from the other shore of this country who barely knows you, let me say it slowly and clearly, so you understand: Your province is known around the world not for Quaatchi, skiing or Da Vinci's Inquest (althought that runs a close second), but for one thing: BC BUD.

Thanks to your prodigious pot smoking habit, Canadians are the officially (well, er, according to this YouTube report) the World's biggest pot smokers, eh.

"Stronger Faster, Higher"

It's too bad the Vancouver's Bong Olympics never got a chance to restage their Olympics at the same time as these Winter Olympics. The first Marijuana Olympics, held in 2008 at place called the the Herb Museum in Vancouver (since raided and shut down), featuring "Ganjaletes" competing in events like "fattie rolling" and "pot humour."

But don't get THE FEAR, native hookah owner and Olympic fan. The bong is only banned for Olympic athletes, says the Vancouver Sun, "For the rest of you, Vancouver is being billed as a "marijuana-friendly city."

For visiting pot-smokers, Cannabis Culture magazine's shop is even offering Olympic Deals.

I wonder if Michael Phelps is there somewhere in a Whistler loft just watching it all go down on a giant HD TV with a big bag of bud and some Canadian beer by his side? Really, if you think about it, that's probably a safer way of experiencing 2010 than going out onto the streets to get mauled by GUN TOTING COPS!

So smoke a bowl and sing along to Compassion Gorilla's "Olympics Resistance Track" (from the Vancouver Media Co-op) and be proud of that big elephant in our closet. Rather, in your closet. Seriously, go check it out. Nah, I'm just yanking yer chain, dude!

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