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Kink on the cheap 

How to DIY your BDSM.

  • Meghan Tansey Whitton

No need to worry about making reservations or buying flowers, The Coast went shopping with professional dominatrix Miztress Tia (and a budget of $30) in order to bring you some inexpensive and creative ways to make this Valentine’s Day, if nothing else, unforgettable. When we pitched the idea to her, Miztress Tia immediately suggested heading to Dollarama. Apparently those stores aren’t just a haven of inexpensive expired chocolate bars, but also rife with potential for homemade BDSM.

1. Rope: $3
To make basic arm and leg binding easier, cut the rope into segments. When choosing a rope, thicker is better because it’s less likely to cut off circulation. Beginners should be wary of tying their partner too tightly. You should be able to comfortably slip a finger underneath a binding. Also be ready to cut your partner out at any moment. A pair of safety shears have guards so there is no risk of cutting your partner.

2. Baby oil: $1.50
Doubles as massage oil while hydrating the skin, making it less likely that skin will break if you were to, for example, hit or slap it.

3. Toothpaste and VapoRub: $1 and $1.50
The cooling sensation produced can be applied almost anywhere on the body. Miztress Tia suggests putting a small amount on the nipples once body temperature is raised. Remember, the label does say “for external use only.” Always wipe off VapoRub with a warm moistened towel before putting your mouth on the area.

4. Candy or granola bars: $1.50
After any kind of physical exertion you should have some snacks nearby. Miztress Tia always keeps chocolate on hand to ward off blood-sugar drops and recommends having a glass of water to rehydrate.

5. Various kitchen utensils: $2 each
Miztress Tia is a self-professed sadist. The first item in our cart was a kitchen spoon, primarily used for caning. She also recommends a silicone baster for tickling, and a pair of metal tongs with which to trail ice cubes along the skin. Anything with a handle can also be inserted.

6. Rubber bands: $1
Give your partner a foot massage drawing on the concept of “bastinado.” Considered a form of torture in some countries, Miztress Tia suggests trying this mild version by slipping a few elastics around your partner’s foot. You can then snap the elastics along the sole with alternating force.

A note on hygiene: These items were not made for bodily fluids. Extra care should be taken to clean and cover them with condoms prior to insertions. Check any metal objects for rust, and keep in mind that materials like wood are porous so can retain bacteria. Remember, although these objects may already be lying around your house, you might want to purchase separate ones for this particular use.

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In Print This Week

Vol 26, No 52
May 23, 2019

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