Here's where I play the stupid friend who ruins the birthday surprise by telling the guest of honour, like Uncle Junior did with Carmela's dad: The Joel Plaskett Emergency have announced a "super secret show," planned for March 29 at the Marquee (tickets are $30, ticketpro.ca). The show was announced online only, to the JPE's "MySpace, Facebook, website and email list fans," but I feel that encompasses so many people that it should hardly be considered a secret anymore. That's how I'm justifying it. There are no opening acts slated to play and, according to the Facebook group, "we know tickets are going to go incredibly fast, so we wanted you to know before the general public." That dirty, stinking general public.