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How Halifax spends its Valentine's Day 

If you haven't made reservations yet, you're probably fucked.

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You party animals! Most of you are...not doing a damn thing for Valentine's Day.

Zip, zilch, zero, according to Sex + Dating survey-takers.

Maybe V-Day isn't a big deal for most folks these days. Alternatively, perhaps you're all losers. Who's to say? Not us, we who will be spending Valentine's Day queuing up outside the drug store and counting down to the discount candy sales.

Some people have better reasons for skipping out on any grand romantic gestures, of course, like studying “for the three midterms I have the two days immediately following Valentine's Day. #ScienceDegreeProbs.”

To properly celebrate Valentine's Day, that would require your partner to be present. For some Haligonians, that's asking a lot. Like that one reader whose “Hubby is deployed and I have a broken leg.” Likewise the former HRM-resident who just moved to France.

“My best friend is going to visit me and she'll be my date. My boyfriend and I will have a Skype date and send letters.”

Family—especially of the non-nuclear variety—presents other challenges. “Allowing my partner to spend it with his girlfriend,” writes one reader.

“Valentine's Day?,” asks another. “Haha, we have a two-year-old.”

Though all of these struggles depend on actually having someone to spend the day with.

“Ugh, don't remind me about Valentine's Day! Trying to find someone on Tinder before then. So far, no luck.”

The struggle is real. Here are some more of our favourite answers:

“Making a fancy dinner for my guy with his fave craft beer and some great sex.”

“Marathon sex with any partner and some friends. Orgy.”

“We don't really do anything. It seems artificial.”

click to enlarge sexsurvey.vday.png

“No plans...I am a paramour and he will be with his wife. He will bring me flowers, chocolate, his wanton desires and libidinous loins...We will profusely engage in hours of passionate lovemaking...before or after V-Day.”

“We'll take our kids on a date. My husband and son will get me and my daughter each a flower and card and we'll get dressed up and go to like DQ or something.”

“Watching my sister’s kids with my son. Waiting for my silly gift from my husband and sending him nude photos as per requested.”

click to enlarge sexsurvey.vday3.png

“We aren't really into V-Day, but probably make dinner together and hit up cheap night at Cineplex.”

“Jerking off.”

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Survey Asks

Atlantic Playland is now Atlantic Splash Adventure, featuring waterslides like the Bluenose Blaster and Bowl of Fundy. What other Nova Scotia-inspired attractions could the waterpark offer?

  • Sable Island Shipwreck
  • Bomb Cyclone
  • Historic Waveyard
  • Power Outage Plunge
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Vol 25, No 47
April 19, 2018

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