Halifax's weirdest sex dreams

Some things are best left to the imagination.

click to enlarge Click here for all of our Sex + Dating coverage
Click here for all of our Sex + Dating coverage

You all have terribly dirty minds and we love you for it. Here's what readers of our Sex+Dating survey told us were their weirdest sex dreams. No judgement here. OK—maybe a little judgement, but we still love you.

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“I was having sex with my roommate/best friend's new boyfriend while she watched. I do not think he is attractive whatsoever.”


“A young Arnold Schwarzenegger-type proved his love for me by stacking all of my possessions into a pyramid then battling a 'vicious' electric shark. We proceeded to have passionate 'I'm so happy you're alive' sex while he was still sweaty and smeared in blood.”


“I dreamt I was a guy (I'm a female), and I was banging a super hot broad. Having a dick was supremely awesome. I could feel everything.”




“Having sex with someone and then we were on black sheets and suddenly the sheets turned into an abyss that we were falling into but we kept having sex on the way down.”

"Gay sex with a good buddy."

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“Having sex with a European Fabio-type in the cottage while my husband and children were on the beach.”



“I was at a crowded party making out with James Franco and he was really into me playing with his ass, which was cool—just weird considering the surroundings.”

“Had a dream I was banging a guy and he wanted me to scream his parents’ names…super weird.”

“Every single dream I had while on the anti-malaria shot I got before I went on a trip.”

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“I was looking for my partner in a hospital that was converted to a sex club. I found him and we
proceeded to have a foursome. The bouncer was Steve Carell.”


“Sex was used as currency. So you basically had to have sex with everyone if you wanted anything.”



“I dreamt that the guy I was about to have sex with ended up having a two-foot dick.”

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“I dreamt that I was having sex with my female roommate. She was going wild and was acting like it was the best sex ever, while I was bored.”


“Eating out my best friend. She told me I sucked.”


“I had a dick and couldn't jerk off.”



“Constant partner morphing.”

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“One time, I dreamed I exposed myself and masturbated in front of an unattractive coworker and I still kind of find it weird when I see them.”

“I'm definitely not writing that here. Oh, wait! Another option was sex with John Goodman...I was really young when I had that. Still can't explain it. So bizarre!”

“Starting out as normal humans then turning into hentai octo-people.”


“It involved Marilyn Manson (who I'm terrified of) and it was set in medieval times. So weird.”

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“The guy I was into came into the room with another girl and went to the bed making out and he turned to look at me like he didn't care I was there.”

“Hank Azaria performing cunnilingus on me (he was great)!”


“I turned into a woman and fucked myself.”


“Spilling the contents of my very full purse and then Tetrising them back in perfect order. When I slotted the last thing into my purse—into a space that was the perfect size and shape for it, creating a seamless top layer of items—I had an orgasm so intense that my gasps woke me up.”


“I dreamt I was having sex with a female coworker which was odd as I am gold-star gay.”

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“I was laying on a water bed (weird, right?) with red satin sheets and a woman dressed in black was performing oral on me. I'm a straight female and this was in my teens. Considered it very shocking at the time.”


“I'm not sure, but I must have them, because awesomely enough, I occasionally have orgasms in my sleep that wake me.”


“I was giving Justin Trudeau a blowjob in his kitchen while he was wearing a suit and Sophie was watching/critiquing.”



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