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GOOD LORD, here’s my HODGEPODGE recipe 

So everyone can leave me alone once and for all.

click to enlarge A Maritime favourite for all you home cooks. - VICTORIA WALTON
  • A Maritime favourite for all you home cooks.
  • VICTORIA WALTON

I can’t believe it’s come to this, but at this point, I have no choice but to attempt to quiet this daily harassment and give everyone my hodgepodge recipe.

Hodgepodge is a typical Nova Scotian summertime dish—but of course, you know that already, because you literally won’t stop haranguing me for my hodgepodge recipe for even one blessed second.

It contains new potatoes, green beans, peas, carrots. NO, I do not boil the vegetables in milk. NO, I do not bother with turnips. NO, I do not peel the potatoes—who in their right mind would peel a new potato? Actually, don’t answer that. I don't want to discuss this any longer than I need to.

The ingredients are all very easy to get at the market at this time of year so that’s another thing you can stop bothering me about. I don’t have enough hours in the day to even listen to all of the voicemail messages at this point. So please stop asking.

You can get the peas pre-shelled in bags from some stalls, so you don’t have to send like a 50 text-long inquiry to me about that either. Let’s just talk about something else. Like for instance, the world is in very bad shape. We shouldn’t be this focused on hodgepodge—and certainly not to this degree.

I’m only writing this out here as an act of good faith, in the hopes that it will stop you from calling, texting and messaging me every hour on the hour. Please, once you read this recipe, kindly respect my privacy on this matter.

———

The god-forsaken hodgepodge recipe:

INGREDIENTS
2 cups potatoes
2 cups carrots
1 cup green beans
2 cups shelled peas
1 cup cream
1/3 cup butter
salt and pepper

METHOD
Put potatoes and carrots (cut into chunks) into a pot of boiling salted water, boil them for 10 minutes. Add green beans (tips removed and cut in half) and shelled peas, then cook until just tender.

Drain the vegetables, return them to the pot and add cream and butter, salt and pepper to taste. Mix together.

Serve alone, or with bread, I guess. You don’t need to do anything else except immediately delete my number and never even whisper the word “hodgepodge” to me again.

Thank Christ this ordeal is finally over.


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