GI Joe battles disposability

“There’s no distinction anymore,” I answered when asked if G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is for kids or nostalgic adults. The latest in toy-line cinema delivers the usual ADD blockbuster formula: Two lines of exposition, followed by three shots of vehicles moving around. Stephen Sommers’ brand of effects chaos is lighter on its feet than Michael Bay’s. But if G.I. Joe goes down easier than Transformers 2, its images are never as beautiful. Sommers and his actors go the Speed Racer route of trying to replicate the vibe of Saturday morning cartoons in a live-action setting. But as an action film separated from its cartoon source, G.I. Joe is as fresh as a third viewing of a Star Wars prequel. A battle through Paris streets involving Accelerator Suits gets the most mileage. Most of the time, G.I. Joe suffers from aspiring too hard to be disposable.