Though the marketing would have you believe this is a love story between a snowman, a reindeer and the carrot that brought them together, Frozen is actually a kickass girl power tale about the greatest love of all (yourself, duh). When princess Elsa (Idina Menzel) accidentally hurts her sister Anna (Kristen Bell) with her unexplained ice powers, her parents tell her to keep that shit hidden forever. She becomes a recluse until those idiots die at sea and she has to be the queen. Facing the public for the first time in 15 years, Elsa freaks out, flees to the mountains, builds herself an ice castle and starts walking around like Sophia Fuckin’ Loren. She also puts the kingdom into a deep freeze, whoops. This is classic Disney, including a bunch of awesome songs—Menzel and Jonathan Groff, as love interest Kristoff, are Broadway stars—but there’s a surprising twist on the “saved by a kiss” crap they usually pull. Highly, highly recommended.