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Four giant todgers? 

"Four totem poles rise up," (pause) "a trifle conspicuously."

Aw, man: a must-read, the Guardian's brilliant but brutal send-up of the opening night.

Yes, we are an earnest bunch sometimes, and the big dicks and faded stars onstage were worthy of a snide, world-weary snicker from London town.

Still, it's pretty rich seeing them take the mickey out of such cultural touchstones as our anti-americanism, or our multiculturalism/good race relations "generally benign - but not untainted" when the op-ed pages of the Guardian are rife with schoolboy shots at America, and the racist BNP holds council seats in UK municipal councils.

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