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Published December 29, 2005. |
Run for cover
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To the Lance Armstrong-type who ran past me last night on Cogswell. I think it’s great that you never smoked in high school and you have a fierce lung capacity. Maybe you’re training for the Olympics. If that’s the case — congratulations. But please think twice (and this goes out to all of you carb-loading, Spandexed fast-walkers and clodhoppers out there) before you sneak up quietly behind a woman walking alone and then brush past against her. What does a woman think when she hears heavy breathing and rapid footsteps right behind her? Think, shithead. She thinks she’s about to be attacked, raped or worse (if there is such a thing). We share the sidewalk, buddy. Sharing. Perhaps you remember that from kindergarten? You’re just lucky I didn’t have my illegally obtained stun-gun with me.
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—One tired Lola
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