Eeny meany miney which overpriced shit-pit will I go?

Apartment hunting on kijiji and trying to find an affordable place in a decent location is like trying to catch a fart in a windstorm. The most shit-hole in the wall you can imagine is at least $750/month. Heat and hot water is rarely included. It will say Dartmouth, until you click open the ad, and then you see it is Primrose, or Pinecrest or Jackson Road or insert crime-ridden area. You look though the photos of the joint and it's always really trashy looking. Peeling Linoleum floors, ugly dated 70's fridge and stove. Then these slumlords have the nerve to say "no partiers," "no loud music," "no smoking?" Are you fucking kidding me? You think you're gonna tell me how to live now? Who do these landlords think they are??? You don't have the right to tell me how to live my life. The Residential Tenancy Act trumps any special rules you may wish to stipulate as a landlord, rendering them null and void. So make all the rules you want, asshole. I'll lie to your fucking face if I want. It's not against the law to smoke in my own home, which I pay rent for...and it's not illegal to play loud music before 11 pm. So deal with it, fuckface. You should BE so lucky someone is willing to rent your roach motel for the exorbitant prices you're asking. FUCK YOU! —Your next tenant