You're the worst person I've ever known

I really appreciate you admitting to me that you've been screwing the guy upstairs. It really makes me feel great to think back on all the early mornings I left for work and all the times he came downstairs after I left to put the blocks to you. That was a nice little detail. I should've suspected something was up when you said you were going out with your friends and as often as I can remember, hearing him leave his apartment just minutes after you did. Did you really have to keep this from me for a year. Guess you finally found someone to pour maple syrup all over your pancake tits. Best of all, Im really glad I don't have to peel away the layers of fat from your thighs for 5 minutes digging around for stinky puss anymore. It was always really tough to get hard after that, just so you know. Oh yeah and by the way, your mom blew me at your families christmas party last year. She wanted me to bang her but i couldn't do it. It's my only regret. That and wasting the precious time i have on this earth with a sleazy, stupid, unfunny, gossipy, hateful, mindless person like you. Thanks for nothin.... — happy out of love