Best Place To Celebrate Your Birthday

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Alone. Surrounded by empty bottles and a detailed list of all your failed dreams and missed opportunities. You can use the bottles to collect your tears: one for every year of your miserable, wasted life. Or, you could invite people over and blow out candles on your birthday cake and make them give you lots and lots of presents. Whatever, really, it’s your birthday.

1st runner-up: East Side Mario’s, 1650 Bedford Row, 422-7100

2nd runner-up: Jack Astor’s, 184 Chain Lake Drive, 450-1370