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So I started seeing this guy. He was real sweet. One of those nice guys... you know, not all that attractive. I usually only date guys I'm attracted to, but those guys always turn out to be assholes. And well, I've been hearing so much about those "nice guys" and how they always finish last. Why not give one of them a chance, right? So I lower my standers and went out a couple times with this Where's Waldo lookin'-like MA-FUCKER and guess what? He stands me up! So you SEE ladies? Men are ALL assholes. If ya gonna have one, you might as well pick a good looking asshole. Preferably one with money. —From Now On, I Only Date UP