Vacuum Sealed Sweatpants

If you're going to wear sweatpants in public to a restaurant, please for the sake of humanity choose a pair that fit. Having to witness your colossal ass chomping down and engulfing your sweatpants is enough to make babies cry. Are you not aware they don't fit? Do you not look in the mirror? Or are you unable to see what's going on behind you? Your front end was not a pretty sight either. We're not quite sure what constitutes that bulge in your pants unless your vag is severely swollen, or your belly has sagged down and covered it. You've got a shape worse than Grimace on a bad day, but at least he looked good in purple. You on the other hand "Hi, I'll be your server today. Can I get you something to drink. Here's your menu." Yes, that's what we think of you. —Tip, Don't Trip