Villains are sent packing in The Bachelorette episode 3 | The Coast Halifax

Villains are sent packing in The Bachelorette episode 3

And a group date based around spoken word poetry should put Halifax spoken word poet Chris G in the spotlight. Here’s our recap.

There's a difference between maverick and villain, as this drowned jacket discovered.

Spoiler alert: The Coast will be recapping episodes of The Bachelorette every week this season. If you missed our introduction to this series, click here. Please stop reading if you don’t want to know what happened in the episode.

There are often villains on The Bachelorette who feel producer-manufactured. Their lines are taken out of context; their clips are played with daunting audio; simply put, they’re victims of bad edit. However, it seems this season we’ve been blessed with not one, but two True Villains: Jamie and Peter. Almost every single thing they say is unhinged! They’re both menaces in their own ways! Their stories both came to a head this week, and it was wonderful.

As usual, this episode kicks off with a group date. They are taken to an airplane hanger, where two actors from the new Top Gun movie (that would be Top Gun: Maverick) are waiting to lead them through some challenges loosely related to airplanes. It becomes clear that this portion of the episode is, somehow, sponsored by Top Gun: Maverick. Not a single scene goes by without the mention of Top Gun: Maverick.

The actors from Top Gun: Maverick pretend that, because they’ve been in a movie about pilots, they know what it’s like to fly a military plane, so they teach the contestants about it. They all stand in a circle and do push ups and high knees for a while. Martin (a man with frosted tips) pulls Michelle aside to ask how she’s doing. She says she’s okay, and she’s touched he checked in.

Now, the men are shown to a G4 simulator: a large machine that straps them in place and spins them around really quickly. (This is what it was like to film Top Gun: Maverick, an actor from Top Gun: Maverick explains.) The men each get spun around, and are asked to yell things they like about Michelle while it happens.

Pizza Peter says some stuff in Italian and everyone is like Awh, mama mia, the language of love! How romantic!

Will (who made the “narcissist” joke about Peter last week) goes next, and he says some stuff in Spanish. People have the same reaction (Spanish! How nice!) and Peter is pissed off. “He stole my thing!” he tells the camera. His thing is bilingualism.

Now, we’re onto dogfights, where contestants are paired together and asked to wrestle. This is, somehow, meant to simulate… air-to-air combat? The contestants are planes? The ground is the sky? This is war? They’ve run out of things to do while advertising Top Gun: Maverick?

The only notable thing here is that Will and Peter are paired together. Will annihilates Peter. Peter stalks off, saying he’s been bullied.

Will ends up winning MVM (most valuable maverick) on the date, meaning he gets five extra minutes with Michelle in a retro car from Top Gun: Maverick. He also wins a really cool bomber jacket, and he’s really excited about it! He’s stoked about the jacket! I hope nothing bad happens to the jacket!!

We get to the evening’s cocktail party, where Peter and Will won’t stop fighting. Peter calls Will a bully. Will calls Peter a pizza boy. Peter says something to the effect of “if you saw how much money I make, you’d want to be a pizza boy.” Will says “money can’t buy class.” Peter says that Will doesn’t deserve his cool new jacket.

Will goes to talk to Michelle and leaves his jacket behind. Can you guess what happens next?? Can you??????

Peter throws the jacket in the pool. He calls it “a symbol of the disrespect I continue to get.”

Will is very upset. He tears up. He does not tell Michelle what happened, for he doesn’t want to stress her out, which is actually pretty sweet.

Frosted Tips Martin wins the group date rose. Michelle says she's very happy there wasn't any drama or negative energy on the date. The audio plays as we watch Will sadly recuperate his jacket from the pool with a net.

Rodney and Michelle have a one-on-one date. The first portion is a truth or dare game, and it's cute. During the evening portion of the date they open up to each other. Rodney talks about being raised by a single mom. They both talk about the struggle of dating people who don't understand the racism they experience, and specifically about the hurt that comes from being called the N-slur. They discuss the complexity of interracial relationships, and the respect required there.

Michelle seems smitten, and Rodney gets a rose. All in all, a nice segment.

Okay, onto another group date. And folks, I’m here to report that the activity is spoken word poetry. Chris G’s whole thing! This is his moment! His superbowl! His time to shine! He arrives, and the guest is a spoken word poet he loves. He fangirls for a second. It’s sweet.

Now, here's the thing I've been unwilling to admit: I, personally, find spoken word poetry to be a little grating. It’s just not my cup of tea. Sorry! However, in the spirit of supporting our Halifax man, I'm casting my judgment aside, and I’m ready to hear Chris G’s poem. It’s what he’s trained for his whole life! It’ll be great! And it’s… uh, they only give him about two seconds of airtime.

The other contestants read their work, and it’s fine. It’s slam poetry. Jamie says he lost the poems he wrote (?) and tells a boring story instead. Michelle reads her own poem about feeling like a “token Black girl” growing up, and discusses her difficulty dating when she was younger.

The cocktail party is mostly uneventful. We get a close up of Jamie biting Michelle’s lip while making out, and I’m so disgruntled I spill tea on my keyboard. Michelle and Winnipeg Nayte share a really sweet moment together, and I find myself rooting for him. Brandon gets the group date rose.

Now, onto the last night before the rose ceremony. This is where things get good.

Rick pulls Michelle aside and tells her he was confused at the previous rose ceremony, because he’d never heard rumours about her circulating around the house. Michelle says Jamie told her there were rumours aplenty. Rick says he lied. Michelle is shocked.

The boys confront Jamie, and it’s very funny. His face is filled with sheer panic, and he backpedals very hard. He insists that there were rumours, but every single other guy there is like “I never heard any?”

Then, he says there weren’t rumours yet, but he wanted to stop them before they started, which is so incredibly nonsensical. Michelle joins in on the conversation, and Jamie nervously tries to explain himself some more. He sounds like the “have you ever had a dream” kid.

Michelle walks Jamie out early. Bye!

The rose ceremony starts, and Spencer, LT and Mollique also get sent home, as does Pizza Peter. It’s the end of an era! Farewell, villains! Though something tells me we’ll get another soon enough.

‘Til next week.