Joy to the world, Uber has come

I would love to share my general joy with the good people of Halifax, and my ultra-special joyous delight with the good hearted, kind, nice, fair, decent, moral people of the city’s taxi commission. I would love to see their faces when Uber and Lyft are in the city, rendering the existence of their office of extortion obsolete. Just like their office, they will perish into the dark pages of history books, leaving all the pleasant memories that every driver dearly cherishes.

None of them had ever driven a taxi or a limousine, yet they know all about it from their office bible (The Holy T1000 City Bylaw), a book they hold dear to their heart and are willing to defend with their integrity and honour. Well, the heavy burden of of memorizing a 25-page bylaw is finally over, and the days of their bullying soon to be gone. No more gloating like acid-tripping peacocks, no more constant long trips from the water cooler to the coffee machine, no more walking to their houses with victory smiles, kissing their children and telling them that mommy and daddy got a paycheque for harming people.

Merry Christmas and let Uber and Lyft bless you. Yours truly,
—BMW 750Li