Hey dudes, Winter's over. Time to shave off those gross dirty beards. I'm sick of seeing all these curly pube faced men walkin' around town lookin' like a bunch of hobos. Buck up! Get a haircut and get a real job. Unless you're a Samurai Warrior, you need to snip off that nasty man-bun too and scrub that greasy scalp with some Head n Shoulders. How dare you ask me out on a date while looking as though you just crawled out of a thicket! There's no way I'd kiss a guy with that bushel of germs on his face. Get it together, take some pride in your appearance. Shine your shoes and change your socks or kick rocks! —You Coulda Been Comin’ Instead of Goin’