Dear Stinky

To the Stinky Fucker who works out at my gym. PLEASE put some fucking deodorant on before you go to the gym, its unbearable. Holy shit I throw up in my mouth a little every time you walk by. Too make matters worse, you somehow learned to mark your damn territory even after you leave a fucking machine the 6' square radius around where you were still smells bad for 5 minutes. This may be because you don't wipe the machines down for fuck sakes, its bad enough to smell you but now people have to touch the fucking sweat you leave behind.
Put some deodorant on so we don’t have to hide from you while were working out.
---Old Spice truly Works