To the dog walker along Almon Street who carries yellow or green plastic doggy bags for the poop pick-up: yes, you're doing the earth-friendly thing by bending over to bag your dog’s poop, but only to deposit the bag on the sidewalk by the telephone pole near the Rona on Almon. Please do mother earth a favour and take your poop home with you for proper disposal. Mother earth will love you, as will all of us who walk on Almon and have to observe your poop bags piling up. — Pooped-Out Doggy-Bag Observer

When a job promotion opened up at my workplace and I filled in as acting-whatever for that same position—for the same pay with more work—and my boss took their sweet time with the hiring process, the job was given to a replica of its previous incompetent occupant. The irony is I'll end up training this person with my same benefits-less hourly wage, while they stumble through the learning process with their cozy salary in tow. Happy new year to me. — Filled In For What?

Just lead with, "This is a robbery." That I had to ask, "Is this a robbery?" only served to cost you precious time and make the whole business needlessly frustrating for me. Clear, direct communication is key. — Smokeshop Cashier

To the gaggle of entitled middle-aged women who took over my table at Humani-T Cafe while I was trying to read my Toni Morrison novel: At first it was just one of you who asked if she could sit at my table, since the cafe was busy. You hovered over me, and I felt too intimidated to say no. Then you brought your whole cohort and y'all sat so close to me that I felt literally pushed out. It's been a tough week and I just wanted a little joy with my book. Screw you. — Angry Reader

I really hope that after you chipped my tooth you realized how terrible of a kisser you are, and also why this relationship is over. — Mistake From The Start

Once again, walking to work I was cut off in an intersection by someone speeding through in front of me. Had I not stopped walking through they would have hit me. I looked at their faces to see if they might have just missed my presence there, but there were staring right at me, laughing and giving me the finger. I guess people think it's a joke to put people's life at risk with reckless and dangerous driving. No wonder we have so many fatal pedestrian collisions. — Dead By Drive-By

Apartment hunting in this city is a mess! Reading ads on Kijiji, you can't even rent a room in this city for under 600 bucks. Now these landlords are getting real choosy. Ads say, "students only," "girls only," etc.  Sounds like a bunch of perverts. Why does it have to be a student? Students can't even afford the rent. How about renting to the first paying customer? Why does it have to be a girl? One ad said "No overnight guests allowed." Who the fuck do these landlords think they are?  If someone hands you over the better part of a thousand dollars every month for rent, what makes you think you can tell them what to do in the home they pay to rent?  No overnight guests? So the female, student tenant must also be single and available for you too, eh? — Reading Between The Lines

I'd like to know what clinical moron invented the standard bathtub, which is a completely subpar invention for anyone above four feet tall who wasn't born with a super-bendy gooseneck. Poured myself a hot bath to nurse my raging PMS cramps, but my knees, tits and most importantly my gut sticks out a foot above the surface of the water. Nothing soothing about pretzelling your limbs into a porcelain coffin built for a child, your head jerked at an uncomfortable right angle, throat folded nearly in half, like a kink in a garden hose to cut off your breath. With today's technology churning out new iPhone after new iPhone, why can't someone reinvent something necessary and worthwhile for once? Like bathtubs, because they fucking SUCK! — Hell Above High Water

There's a special place in hell for "friends" who date their friend's exes without a care or a second thought. Apparently you've never heard of girl code. I guess loyalty is too much to expect in friendships of today's climate, but would a little common consideration be too much to ask? There's a whole city's worth of available men you could date, but you chose someone who used me, manipulated me and then cheated on me. Sneaking around, exchanging numbers and seeing him behind my back on the downlow. How would you feel if one of your friends did that to you, and started hanging with your ex who had treated you poorly? It's quite clear he is using you too, in a narcissistic attempt to get me back or to get back at me. Quit pretending to be some empath online. You don't even know the meaning of empathy, you self-serving phony! I was going to warn you about him but I think I'll let you find out for yourself what you're in store for with him: a season of ruination. — Farewell Fairweather Foe

New dude on the scene got you interested? Seems to always be flirting with you without really saying anything? Got a sob story about why he's here that seems too good to be true? Yeah, it is. Get the back story. His gender politics are shit, he's really hurt a lot of people and just moves on. (PS - He doesn't even wanna fuck you. He just wants to make sure his garden gets watered.) — The Last Fly