Battle of the Year

Sawyer is no Coach Taylor

Oh shit did you see where my keys went?

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Some guy overheard some kids saying breakdancing wasn’t cool anymore and now we all have to suffer. In this near-incompetent, half-assed “fictionalization” of Planet B-Boy (a “dope” documentary that’s “like our Bible” from which many clips are shown), Lost’s Josh Holloway does a Drunk History version of Coach Eric Taylor (catchphrase: “You are champions. Be champions!” Uh, ok) as he assembles America’s dream b-boy team for the annual Battle of the Year in France, which has been won by Korea for awhile. (The double horror.) Anyway the dance sequences are cool—though look a little off in regular D—but the talking/character development/gender parity/pointing a camera is sub-film school, plus it does the world the complete double disservice of casting Chris Brown and making him likable. Proof that any movie can get made somehow.