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Monday, April 7, 2014

March Madness Day 14: vs. Al Jazeera & Town Crier vs. Coffee News

Good god this is like Sophie's choice

Posted By on Mon, Apr 7, 2014 at 11:29 AM

Only two more sleeps and this whole thing ends for another year. We've been through so much together. What have we been through, exactly? Click here and remind yourself.

If you're more of a visual person than a words person, first of all, congratulations on clicking this post, and second of all, here's a helpful bracket.

click to enlarge thecoast-marchmadness2.jpg

Friday was so long ago, let me tell you a tale of what happened on that auspicious day. It was a close race between Upworthy and The Daily Show on the new media side, but in the end They Told This Video Sharing Site It Couldn't Win, What It Did Next Will Shock You. Then you clicked because you were bored and in a seven minute video you found out Upworthy beat The Daily Show 59 to 40 (argh, Twiigs!). The Daily Show will hereby be known as The Faily Show (is this negging? Am I negging Jon Stewart enough that he will join me in my bedroom? Have I played The Game?)

The other heat was more of a quick fizzle. The New York Times trounced Information Morning 91 to 8 (wtv Twiigs). Let's all have a moment of radio silence for Info Morn.

But it's Monday now, fools. Friday is a whisper of a memory. Let's get down to business. On the new media side we have some heavy hitters. goes up against Al Jazeera. is kind of like your intellectual and fun aunt who wears really cool statement necklaces, has authored at least a shelf-full of books, was friends with Diana Vreeland and can throw off a soufflé like it's nothing. Al Jazeera is like your gruff uncle who you'd really like to impress, but impressing usually means getting into a really heated debate about international politics over dinner after a few too many glasses of wine and eventually getting the all important bemused eyebrow raise.

Who do you love more?

The second heat of the day is one that's really important to me. I can't believe it's come to this. My beloved Town Crier is battling my equally beloved Coffee News. I feel (more) like Lucille Bluth (than usual)!


I know this is Sophie's choice. It's hard but it needs to be done. Don't make this a tie and have me choose (who am I kidding, Twiigs will never allow a tie). To help you inform your (impossible) choice, here are some of Crybaby and Coffee Talk's greatest hits:

“Tripe, piping hot, ready for supper the nicht at 8 o’clock at Jeanie Mcmillan’s, head of North Wynd. Gang hame, bairns, and tell your folks about it.”

"How does a man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it."

"Oyez! Oyez! Lost, stolen, or strayed, a great goose belonging to the Duchess of St. Albans—whosoever has found the same will please bring it to the crier, being of no use to any but the owner."

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds."

I can't choose. Please god have mercy on us all.


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