Please stop telling me I'm beautiful. It hurts me, and I don't know how to tell you this. It hurts because it makes me feel. I don't want to feel. I am the type of person who feels passionately and ends up getting hurt when I do. That's why I settled for mediocre. Mediocre doesn't break my heart. Mediocre loves me and wouldn't hurt me. I know that I am cursed to live the rest of my life without true passion or happiness and that's what I deserve for the abundance of bad choices I have made. Choices I continue to make. It's ok though. I take responsibility for everything I've ever done and although I know that I am a mess and not worthy of the passion and love that I constantly seek, it still hurts when you say those words to me. —Wishes I were smart enough to walk away