I don't want to still care, but I do...
Posted
on Fri, Sep 14, 2012 at 1:58 PM
I know the ending was messy (especially for me). I don't know if you still care or love me... I know you have someone else right now. Some days I hate you for the cruel way you shut me out, but most days I am just sad. We said "I love you" so often and to know that you switched that off so quickly scares me.
You came to me broken and all I wanted was to support and surround you with my love. But I need to shut the door for my own happiness. Because although loving you was the best thing I ever experienced, you hurt me cruelly and without regard for anything but yourself. "Selfish" I think you put it.
There will always be a part of me that will wonder how you are, if you are happy, if you are recovering still. Even though you did bad things, I always believed that you were "good." I would have loved you forever, if you had just believed in me and in us.
Good luck and good love. Somewhere deep inside I hope you remember our time together with joy. —Grieving But Resilient