I just got off the #80 bus half an hour ago and this is an apology to the cute girl (red hair, pink nails) who sat across from me. I don't know if you were upset about the old guy next to you (beard, no moustache, bowling shoes) who tried to give you some Christian pamphlet or the texts you were getting but I'm sorry that I had no way to tell you not to cry and that whatever is going on or going wrong with you will pass. I am married and twice your age so this ain't no come on, I just wish there was something I could have done or said. —Myself