I love you my darling, dependable fan. I bring you out of the closet each year, tenderly wash your face, your strong inner parts and turn you on. And then you turn me on.

You have been with me longer than all my husbands, lovers, and partners. My last lover was wary of you participating in our coupling, but then he understood that your coolness made me hotter for him.

I love getting out of the shower soaking wet and standing in front of you. Your cool, whispering breeze blows over me, softly and slowly drying the dripping wetness from my body; I am left with goose bumps on the hottest day. You see my body at its most vulnerable and yet you still worship me. How I adore you. —I am your "fan" forever