Love the Way We Bitch

OK, Halifax—what is the deal with royally fucking over Argyle Street?! I’m not even referring to the odyssey that was the construction of the Nova Centre, or even the six-month long project during absolute peak business season, during the Canada150 and Tall Ships summer, of tearing up the road, save for a tiny ped-path that was supposed to ‘encourage pedestrians’ down the street to sad bars with no patios and even fewer customers. It’s now summer 2018, we’ve thrown our sacrificial goat into the fire and huzzah! The construction is more or less done ‘round our parts. We were promised a pedestrian street; we were promised a no-car zone. Why is it, then, since the end of construction, the newly cobblestoned street has served as nothing but a glorified parking lot? 

Summer is finally creeping in, patio season is in full swing and we watch day in and day out people park directly under no parking and tow away zone signs and walk away without a single worry because they have learned there is literally zero ticketing or towing happening. Further, delivery trucks who are supposed to use that zone for unloading are trying to park on the sidewalk side directly in front of our precious patios, discouraging many potential customers from wanting to enjoy the afternoon sun with their lunch.

The lack of responsibility taken by our city to lay down the parking law on the people who are taking clear advantage of such a lack of responsibility is directly impacting the same businesses the decisions of this city have been fucking over for years. Shame on each and every one of you who have put your own selfish needs to drive downtown and park as close as physically possible to your destination above the dignity of the businesses making up the backbone of Halifax’s food and beverage culture. Further, shame on the city for slacking off WAY too much and perpetuating this unspoken understanding among Halifax’s biggest assholes that Argyle is a free-parking zone. This isn’t Monopoly; there’s no such thing as free parking on this block. — Hoping All Rediscover Usual Meter Parking Habits

To the drivers who enjoy speeding past me to only sit in front of me at the red light...I hope you enjoy risking others on the road just to sit at the same light as me, that I didn't risk anyone's life to get to. —The Car Behind You

Did it ever occur to you ignorant bastards on the 102 Highway that a car with its four way flashers on, going slower, without wipers functioning in a goddamn rainstorm just might be having a fucking problem...and that you don’t fucking need to cut them off and almost cause a fucking dangerous accident when turning off to go to Dunbrack Street? YOU IGNORANT OLD BASTARD YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED. NEXT TIME BACK OFF AND GIVE SOMEONE SPACE YOU IGNORANT SHITBAG! —Wiper Transmission Died

Two drivers I passed last night on the highway proceeded to speed up, tail gate and turn their high beams on to try to annoy me in some sort of road rage revenge.  It's a new car with bright white lights but I wasn't tail gating or using the high beams when I was behind them.  I'd quickly passed but not in an aggressive manner.  I'm assuming they'd thought I had my high beams on—I didn't.  The regular beams didn't seem to annoy oncoming traffic—no one flashed me—but apparently they do annoy people in front (at least 10 car lengths).  Anyway, don't assume because someone has whiter headlights that they've got their high beams on or purposefully chose a car just to annoy you. You won't appreciate it when you update your car and people tailgate and try to blind you in some sort of misguided vengeance. —Auto Dimming Rearview Mirror Anyway

What is wrong with you folks who drive around during a snow storm with your windows covered by snow? CLEAN THEM OFF! FFS!  Is it a problem? Yes! The fact that I knocked on your window and you couldn't see me until I wiped the snow off tells me it's a problem.  —Didn't See Me 'Til It Was Too Late

I know this is a huge cliche, but where did the people in this city learn to drive? Has anyone ever heard of defensive driving? Do they all forget what snow is every year?

I moved here last summer and have had more close calls than the last 5 years where I was living previously. I watched a guy almost kill a woman and her kids blowing through a stop line and into a crosswalk at a red light. I was almost hit the same way walking on Agricola. I had a bus miss me on my bike by about two feet after moving into traffic, from a stop, without signalling. I had a guy stop at a T-intersection, look both ways, then proceed to turn into my path anyways. To top it off, I was stopped on my bike single file (as the signs all say to do) waiting to enter a roundabout, behind two cars, when the guy behind me decided I was somehow holding him up. He revved his engine, and accelerated toward me twice, as if to run me over. I have no doubt he would have if I hadn't gotten out of the way. He then almost hit another car after burning it through the roundabout.

Finally, please for the love of god do not stop for jaywalkers. No, it is not polite, it's stupid, for so many reasons. Just don't.

As driver, pedestrian, and a person who often commutes by bike, it feels like I'm taking my life in my hands every time I go out in this city. And no, it's not the narrow streets, it's the people behind the wheel. Get your head out of your ass, pay attention, and drive defensively. And use your fucking signal lights.
—Driving Is A Privilege

PSA TO HALIFAX DRIVERS (more specifically to Halifax drivers who regularly turn right from Chebucto onto Mumford): That little human-like-figure you see blinking at you–the one that is down and to the right of the stop lights you can’t seem to look past – means THAT PEDESTRIANS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. Which–and this is may by shocking to some–means STOP DRIVING! STOP TURNING! STOP SLOWLY INCHING FORWARD TO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY TELL ME TO WALK FASTER! It is not a game of how-many-cars-can-sneak-by-before-the-person-walking-is-halfway-through-the-intersection. So, the next time you are at that exchange, please, for the love of God, public safety, and my sanity—stop. Fucking. Driving. —Wrong On Red

That’s was the sign says, and that is what I do when it is just you and me. But when I'm doing 30km/h more than the right hand lane and the right hand lane is busy as hell? Nope, sorry, no offence but you can go fuck yourself. —One Thirty Guy

I'd like to send a shout out to all the lousy, self-centred drivers out there. You see them daily. Texting while driving and taking up both lanes. Those doing 70 on the 103 in the fast lane. The ones who change lanes five times and cut everyone else off so they can get to Timmy's five minutes faster. Today it was the idiot driving the VW  in bumper to bumper traffic who decided to take a lane and almost ripped off my front end. Why not just get in that lane in the first place? This place has the highest accident rate in the country due to the morons on the road. No wonder no one wants to live here. —Fucking Pissed

I'm doing 120 in the fast lane, and the guy in the slow lane is doing 115. We are both moving along at a pretty good speed.

Except, along comes this little red sports car that wants to do 150. He honks at me, then sees an opening to pass on the right. The opening doesn't work out and he almost causes an accident. —Not Impressed

OK with me if you kill yourself at the wheel but you drove through a red light from a standing stop when I had advance green oncoming, so now we're talking about killing me. I saw the stupid smirk on your stupid face and the sarcastic wave when I honked.  You are borderline inhuman, so keep on trying to kill yourself but only yourself. —Legal Leftie

In North America, on what side of the road does a car drive? The right, of course. If you are driving and passing a car on a two lane road and a car is coming towards you, who has the right-of-way? The car who is approaching you, of course.

Apply these simple principles when walking and I will not abruptly stop in front of you, scowling; nor will I bulldoze my way through your clutch, to hell with you all. —Muck

Have you ever stood at a controlled intersection at a cross-walk and waited for the red hand to turn to the walking signal? I have. I've also been narrowly missed by cars who only turn their head the opposite direction of where I'm starting to walk from. Did they not teach you in driving school that first, you need to stop at a red before you can turn right? Didn't they tell you to ensure the intersection is clear before you lay on the gas? This is the third time in the past week that I've almost been hit by idiot drivers who don't know how to turn their heads and look for people crossing the damn road! —A Pedestrian Who Knows the Rules Of the Road Better Than You

To the taxi driver who stopped traffic at a non-existent intersection to insist I cross in front of you while three cars waited behind you. Unless you’re handing the $697.00 out the window for the jaywalking fine, I’m going to wait and cross when it’s clear. Also, holding up three cars and your passenger to let one person cross the street is not nice, it’s rude to everyone involved and unsafe. Condescendingly yelling out your window at me because I refused to take you up on your offer crossed a line. You drive for a profession. Start following the rules of the road and stop getting offended when people don’t take you up on your offer to put them in direct danger. —Frustrated Pedestrian