Saw this popular singer with on TV—the woman with the black hair ends and bright green roots—and wondered what the fuss is all about? When did mumbling off-key into a microphone become a raving sensation in music? She sounds and looks wack. I have no idea why she's getting commercial success, her music is nothing more than a fake glorification and monopolization of depression that confused children latch onto. Spouting "who here hates themselves" in the middle of a concert is just an example of how damaging this irresponsibility is to humans in their formative years. This chick is nothing more than another symptom of soulless recycled pop garbage for the masses incapable of critical thinking to eat up.
—Muzak Critic

To the guy jay-walking in Spryfield with his dog on a cold and rainy night: That's how you get hit, bro. I didn't see you until the last second. Count your lucky stars that I did. And here's a fun fact—you're the one who'll get the ticket, not me. A nice little added bit of insult to injury for your stupidity.
—I'll Get Ya Next Time :)

I saw a girl walking down the street the other day while reading a paperback novel. Ignoring the world around her, just walking along the sidewalk with a book held in front of her face. Zombies: Quit living in fantasyland and join the life abundant, before you go splat.
—Go To The Library And Read, Dummy

As I stroll through our Dorian-defiled city, streets and parks chock-full of emergency workers, city employees, volunteers and scattered debris, amongst all of the people doing anything they can to help and others trying to salvage and repair what they can from the mess that's been made, there is you, having friends take your photo while you pose in front of fallen trees in our parks, or having your children stand as close as they can to the caution tape while you try to capture the perfect Insta-pic of them with the fallen crane in the background, or the guys that had their "bro" take that "sweet pic" of them while they stood in front of the vehicles that were crushed by they roof that flew off of the nearby building! None of these things are fun or cool, these are things that have caused people trouble that they now have to take care of. It's a blessing no one was seriously injured! Maybe put your camera away and see if there's anything you can do to help, rather than using this mess for photo content!
—Yes, I Am Shaking My Head At You

I was on the #10 going home late afternoon, and you boarded the bus with your one-year-old, who immediately began screaming bloody murder. Your immediate response was to quickly dial something up on your smart (?!) phone and hold it in front of his face for the entire duration of the trip. He sat slack-jawed and glazed-eyed, slumped in his stroller for the rest of the journey. From Barrington to the Bridge Terminal in Dartmouth, he literally did not blink once. Do you realise that you're messing with the delicate neuro-circuitry of your baby's developing brain? It's appalling that Gen Z kids are drugging their babies with smart phones like a narcotic, propped against their eyeballs, to comfort or silence them: trying to fill their gaping lack of parenting skills.
—Crabby Commuter

This is for the stunned millennials at the Brunswick/Prince Street lights. When the lights turned green for traffic and you walked in front of moving traffic without a care in the world like it was your turn? I won't say you deserve to be hit by said traffic, but maybe when you reach the other side you trip on the curb and knock out your front teeth. That would be great. The no-walk hand and white person lights aren't even close to the same. Being so unaware of your surroundings is unbelievable.
—Workday Commuter

While I was stopped on the Bedford Highway waiting to make a turn, a driver who was texting RAMMED into the back of me at 60km an hour. I had a newborn, toddler and pre-teen in the car with me. What the hell is so important that you have to fucking answer a text while operating a vehicle? All of you reading this who text and drive: You are a fucking dumbass and STOP IT. We could have all been killed. SO STOP BEING A BIG HEAD WHO THINKS THEY ARE SUCH GREAT DRIVERS AND MULTITASKERS THAT IT'S OK TO DO THIS.

All because she had to have her shit phone up her ass. DON'T BE ONE OF THESE DUMBASSES.

That's all.
—Pissed-off Mom

I'm cleaning my motorbike in my driveway. Kids walk by, one of them looks at me, crosses onto my lawn and dumps my compost bin over. I chased him, but am out of shape. I will catch him and paddle his little ass. Call the police—I don't care. Kids are not held responsible, so I will make him responsible.
—Leave my property alone

To the intoxicated girl who felt obliged to violate my personal space and attempted to steal my hat in a dramatic and drawn-out public fashion. I have some unapologetic and heartfelt words of wisdom for you. The way you conducted yourself as an "adult" in a public space was embarrassing and rude in a truly cringe-worthy manner. Your adolescent display of emotional immaturity and lack of respect to my personal boundaries was shameful.

As a man who respects the right of women to feel safe in the downtown social scene and makes a concerted effort to contribute to a good-vibes culture of safety, it was very awkward navigating the aggressiveness of your actions. Next time you decide to get white-girl wasted and make a fool of yourself in public, I hope your friends will be more proactive in trying to safeguard your dignity, and call you on your bullshit. I have compassion for your ignorance, I truly do. I believe at your core you are a good person, but seriously grow the fuck up and treat people with respect. Building a grass-roots culture of consent is a community effort, play your part or stay home.
—The gentleman in the fine hat

I went into a local hardware store to buy four feet of chain. The young employee who assisted me paused and asked me, “uh, how many inches are there in a foot?” WTF! Shocked and wide-mouthed, I figured he must have been pulling my chain…nope! (Well, sort of…) So, not to judge, I retained my composure and politely said, “um, 12 inches.” He then started to measure a 12-inch length on the 48-inch ruler attached to the the shelf! WTF round two! After recovering from my face palm, I said, “just pull it out to the 48-inch mark…no sense doing that four times!” WTF KID! You must be part of Generation F, because the future is clearly fucked! —G. Rant