I am in a safe, positive, loving and committed relationship with a man who I love and care for immensely. This does NOT mean that I have not also dated and been attracted to women and non-binary, genderqueer, etc., folks. This does NOT mean I am now straight or cis, or secretly was all along. This does NOT erase my lifelong experiences of confusion, and struggles to understand who I am. I mostly lean towards femme these days, because it's slightly less exhausting, and there are people in my life who aren't ready to understand or accept how I identify.

”Passing” is NOT a privilege. It is a constant struggle with my own identity being discredited, doubted and dismissed, which causes inner turmoil and self-doubt. I acknowledge that some of these worries are internal/projections, but I have seen in-fighting in queer communities that seems to imply that non-binary or bi folks aren’t "queer enough,” because we want access to queer spaces/communities but are perceived as somehow not having to "do the work" of being visibly identifiable as gay, lesbian, etc. Gender non-conforming folks have NO OBLIGATION to look a certain way. Anyone who excludes or passes judgment on couples who APPEAR hetero and/or cis is making A LOT of assumptions about their identities and past experiences. Nobody can assume what a person has already been through, will later experience or where they are on their journey to understanding their gender and sexuality.

I am SICK of queer people in-fighting and posting shit about other "so-called queer" people/couples who don't look or behave queerly enough in public spaces. But there are tons of reasons why folks might not be able to perform that way.

We need to support people, not exclude them. This shit is complicated and a lot of folks who grew up in a time before this stuff was openly talked about need to take their time to figure out how THEY identify, even if it doesn’t look obvious. — No Longer A Mess

To the guy stomping around the north end wearing shitty far-right patches on his clothes: why are you wasting your time with that trash? Grow up! You look like you’re in your 40s, it looks like you could use a friend! Go out and meet people, drop that bullshit hate you literally wear. Get off of 4chan and start engaging with people, stop it. It’s really difficult to watch someone make such poor decisions and expect to not get decked. As a safety measure just stop okay. You need to get a hobby or something, jeeez. — You Don’t Have To Be Forever Alone

I was just walking across the street when a short little dweeb of a guy also crossing in the opposite direction passed me and said this rude comment: "You know it, Fatty!" I know what? Next time you try to disparage a girl, can you at least try to make sense? WTF, dude. You look like a little schoolboy twerp and act like one, too. This isn't high school. Who goes around saying shit like that to women? Fuck you! Grow up and learn some social skills.

I'm not sure what made you feel the need to try and ruin my morning with your bullshit remarks, but it didn't work. I know I look good. Phat is where it's at. You look like a limp little pissant, mad at the world, walking thru life with your little pink pecker full of hate.
—Yah I'm Hawt And I Do Know It, Bitch

I sure hope the Editor PRINTS this, since you're too stupid to use the internet! You told everyone that you were getting your knee fixed, and you were going to get a job. But you are a liar. You got your knee fixed, and continue to stand out there in front of the stores at the business park, drinking and being nasty to people, begging for money that you don't really need or deserve. You have done nothing but lie to everyone. Why you are allowed to continue to stand there, when most of the employees at all the stores can't stand you because of the way you behave and verbally bash people, is beyond comprehension. Time for you to grow up and go away, you lying drunk!
—Everyone Shopping There

Stop using the croaky voice! You people who use it sound like you're on your deathbed. It's like someone is pulling the words out of your mouths one at a time. It does not make you sound cool. You sound like a fool. The croaky voice is only acceptable when you're laying in bed just waking up.
—Hatethecroaky

Seriously? You believe the best place to pick at your fly bites and scabs is at the bus stop and on the bus? Not only were you picking—not scratching, but full on picking—your fly bites and scabs, but then you were wiping the blood onto your legs, arms and the bus seat. Come the hell on! How were you raised? No one wants to see that shit. It's disgusting. Then to top it all off you start sneezing with your yap wide open spreading your snot and spit all over the place for all to enjoy. Thanks so much for that. The topper to all of this was the huge wad of spit you graciously left on the side of the street before getting on the bus. Grow up and get some manners. I feel bad for whomever had to sit next to you on the bus.
—Wishing for some hand sanitizer

To the fat-ass  who went out of his way to interrupt my wife and her friends while they were conversing amongst themselves in their native language to tell them that they should speak in English, here’s what you should do: Mind your own fucking business.  I bet you felt like a real big shot harassing three Filipino ladies who were just trying to enjoy an outdoor event. Are you such a fragile failure of a human being that the thought of someone from a different cultural background demands that you harass them for it?

My wife was nicer than I would have been and somehow humoured your bullshit, even though she knew what you were saying was wrong. 

Oh, your grandfather was responsible for immigrants being here (whatever THAT means)? So fucking what? What right would that give YOU to tell anyone what they can and can’t say to each other, or in what language they do it?  In what language do you need to be told that we have freedom of expression in this country before that sinks in, moron?  Was your grandfather the one of driving people from their homes in the first place?  Is that what you meant? Well, your sad existence certainly attests to that possibility. 

My wife and her friends put it behind them and I’ve tried to do the same, but days later this still gnaws at me.  I want to believe that we are better than this and that cowards like you are a shrinking minority.  I want to be able to ignore this as the ranting of some asshole, but I can’t because saying nothing just emboldens dipshits like you.  Silence is complicity.  I was born and raised here and I will not be complicit in letting a limp-dick piece of shit like you be the face of my home.
—Pissed-off Nova Scotian

I hope you are not injured, I'm not the kind of person to wish that on anyone. But, I hope you fucked up your sports car so bad that you have to take a bus for a year while it is in the shop. Take your keys and throw them away, you should not be allowed to drive.
—Late for supper

You do understand a laundry room in an apartment building is a shared space because other people DO exist, yes? Those other apartments in the building are occupied by humans known to you as your  fellow tenants…You've probably noticed some of them around from time to time, yes?

So... assuming you're an adult now, it's your responsibility to clean the lint tray, throw your dryer sheets in the garbage instead of leaving them in the machine or dropped on the floor and take care of the dried pieces of tissue you forgot in your pocket again.. Also it'd be awesome if you'd not leave your clean dry clothes in one of the few newer dryers for hours sometimes where some of your fellow tenants might be hesitant to touch them and take them out so they can use the machine, especially on a Sunday when the room is most busy.

In shared spaces the right thing to do is be cool and considerate by cleaning up after yourself, unless of course your mommy or maid or robot are coming behind you to clean up after you, IDK?

Have some fuckin’ respect and consideration, pretty, pretty please —Tired of having to touch your underwear

To the person who screamed "NO FUCK THIS FUCK YOU" and on and on during the moment of silence at the LGBTQ vigil: fuck YOU. Silence isn't how you want to mourn, alright. It's apparently "not how to grieve." But screaming all of that did one thing: it made all the other queer people around you afraid. All anyone did the rest of the night was look nervously behind them, ready to move if there was danger, hands on phones to call for help. You'll say your rage should be validated or some-such bullshit, but here's my rage, so validate it: you're a petulant asshole. You wanted to create fear, and you did it. I'm sure you feel good about it and won't be accountable; congratulations on your accomplishment, whatever that was. The rad activist clique in this place is nutso. I can't wait until all you smug jerks move to Toronto. —Solidarity For-never