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Getting around

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Bridge-crossing blues

Posted By on Sun, Mar 15, 2020 at 10:34 AM

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OK: the traffic-funnelling system used on the Dartmouth side of the Macdonald Bridge resembles a demolition derby. And selfish, risk-taking drivers who race from the left side to the one green-lighted lane on the right just make a shitty situation worse. You inconsiderate assholes jumping the queue may end up two or three or four vehicles ahead of what should have been your spot in the lineup approaching the bridge deck. So, you’ll be reaching the Halifax side of the harbour a few seconds ahead of the time you otherwise would have. And once you’re on the Halifax side, you could well be stopped and waiting in another line of cars. Think about this, you motoring morons. — Dartmouth Driver

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Sunday, March 8, 2020

Macdonald Bridge "pond"

Posted By on Sun, Mar 8, 2020 at 9:47 AM

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Yeah, the pond that forms on the Dartmouth side of the bridge every time it rains, really needs to be filled in. The pound can get about 10 feet wide and at least four inches deep because  the water seems to need to travel uphill to reach the drain. Anyone trying to use the crosswalk in this area needs to walk into traffic to avoid the current. Then risks getting splashed by one of the cars that sadly had to wait for us to get around this pond. — Pissed-off Soaked Pedestrian

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Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Idiots who can't park

Posted By on Tue, Feb 25, 2020 at 3:21 PM

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To all the idiots who need lessons on how to to park: they are very inconsiderate, they are non-humans who insist that they are more important than others. I can't even count as high as the amount of c#@$$ that do it to me, and I can't be the only one. I have one question directed at these mouth breathers using up good air: do you think that this is okay? IT'S NOT! GROW UP AND START TO THINK ABOUT OTHERS INSTEAD OF JUST YOURSELF!!!!!!!!! — Sam

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Wednesday, February 12, 2020

The exception to the rule

Posted By on Wed, Feb 12, 2020 at 4:10 PM

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I saw your look of confusion as I passed by, blaring my horn at you. Look: the carshare parking spots are for carshare cars. Not for German-made luxury vehicles idling life away. So  had to park farther away and walk through even more treacherous shitice because of you. Thanks. If I seem overly enraged, it’s because this is hardly the first time I’ve had this happen.

My every day seems filled with assholes for whom rules and regulations apply to everyone, everywhere. Unless and until they apply to them because they have more urgent business. Carshare parking only? Not if I need to just pull in for a bit. No smoking? Yeah, but I really need a dart right now. Quiet study area? Yeah, but I gotta take this call. Fire lane? I’ll only be in the liquor store for a minute (I’m looking at you, everyone on Baker Street). And what are the odds of a fire, anyway?

Fuck you people and your fucking exceptionalism. If you want to live in a place where the rules only apply to other people, I suggest heading south. The Tweeter-in-Chief is all about that. “They” say the road to hell is paved in good intentions. That aphorism was invented by exceptionalists like you, who want to excuse constantly acting in bad faith. Guess what? You’re not that special. Follow the fucking rules. Improve your intentions. Please. — Slip ’N’ Slide

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Sunday, February 9, 2020

Bus buddies begone!

Posted By on Sun, Feb 9, 2020 at 9:20 AM

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Dear Bus Buddies: you know who you are. You stand up front near the driver ("your buddy") chewing the fat and blocking the entrance to passengers. Sure, there may be plenty of seats available to choose from, and gasp, sit in, but you prefer to stand and gab, gab and stand, narrowing the aisle, creating bottlenecks with total disregard for others. Could you be distracting the driver? Heck no! They blew past that frigid soul at the last stop because your stories are just sooo interesting. Please Bus Buddy, sit down. Get the fuck out of the way. Leave the drivers alone. Stop for the love of all that is safe and sound. I doubt the drivers will miss you. — Busing Bitcher

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Saturday, February 1, 2020

Another car bitch

Posted By on Sat, Feb 1, 2020 at 9:20 AM

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Once again, walking to work I was cut off in an intersection by someone speeding through in front of me. Had I not stopped walking through they would have hit me. I looked at their faces to see if they might have just missed my presence there, but there were staring right at me, laughing and giving me the finger. I guess people think it's a joke to put people's life at risk with reckless and dangerous driving. No wonder we have so many fatal pedestrian collisions. — Dead By Drive-By
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Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Ambulance hinderer

Posted By on Wed, Jan 22, 2020 at 9:26 AM

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To the idiot in a grey Nissan Versa who crossed the North and Robie intersection as an ambulance was trying make its way to the hospital, in snow, during rush hour, yesterday afternoon. STOP and WAIT. And why TF are you wearing noise-cancelling headphones while driving!?!?!?! Are you literally trying to kill people?!?! Ugh. —Pedestrian Bitcher

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Saturday, January 18, 2020

Big scary flurries

Posted By on Sat, Jan 18, 2020 at 9:11 AM

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Why in the fuck are all the liquor stores closed just because there are a few inches of snow down!? We live in Nova Scotia. Why are you so surprised that it snows here? All the buses are running and most of the other stores in the city are open. WTF is your problem, NSLC? There's no reason your employees can't take a bus to work if they don't want to drive on the roads. I walked all the way to the liquor store to find a dark store and locked door. Some other customers who were waiting said they heard the store was opening at 11 instead, so I waited an hour, but the store was still locked up tighter than a fart. So I walk all the way home. Their twitter account said their HRM stores would open by 2 pm. I wait until then, now their fucking twitter says 3 pm. Make up your damn minds! Are you open or closed? Pick a time and commit, you poison peddlers. I've fucking had enough! I'm calling it a day and going to bed.  This day is trashed. I think this is the year I'm going to quit drinking from your devil's cup.
You Bastards Lost A Customer

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Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Hey boy boomers

Posted By on Tue, Dec 24, 2019 at 11:11 AM

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Dear men,
Women on the bus don't want to talk to you. Or more accurately, they don't want you to talk at them. Does she have headphones on? Is she reading? Or is she employing these strategies just to signal to you (because yes, this is about you) that she doesn't want you to talk to her? Keep your anecdotes to yourself.
—C
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Friday, December 20, 2019

Insane pedestrian

Posted By on Fri, Dec 20, 2019 at 12:57 PM

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To the asshole who jaywalked into the intersection on Dresden, so that I had to brake sharply to avoid them, and then SMACKED MY CAR as I drove through: a) the concrete barrier on the east side doesn't allow me to see the full intersection until I'm close to it, b) learn how to safely walk around in a city (including using crosswalks and looking before you just blindly walk into the road) before you get hit by a car or bus, c) yelling profanities and spitting in the face of someone is really, really juvenile (especially since that person stopped their car and didn't hit you) and d) grow some balls and take some responsibility for your own stupidity, rather than blame it on someone else.
—Shocked and Disgusted Driver
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Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Joy to the world, Uber has come

Posted By on Wed, Dec 18, 2019 at 11:50 PM

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I would love to share my general joy with the good people of Halifax, and my ultra-special joyous delight with the good hearted, kind, nice, fair, decent, moral people of the city’s taxi commission. I would love to see their faces when Uber and Lyft are in the city, rendering the existence of their office of extortion obsolete. Just like their office, they will perish into the dark pages of history books, leaving all the pleasant memories that every driver dearly cherishes.

None of them had ever driven a taxi or a limousine, yet they know all about it from their office bible (The Holy T1000 City Bylaw), a book they hold dear to their heart and are willing to defend with their integrity and honour. Well, the heavy burden of of memorizing a 25-page bylaw is finally over, and the days of their bullying soon to be gone. No more gloating like acid-tripping peacocks, no more constant long trips from the water cooler to the coffee machine, no more walking to their houses with victory smiles, kissing their children and telling them that mommy and daddy got a paycheque for harming people.

Merry Christmas and let Uber and Lyft bless you. Yours truly,
—BMW 750Li
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Friday, November 29, 2019

Own your mistakes, clown

Posted By on Fri, Nov 29, 2019 at 9:32 AM

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To the older gentleman who decided to yell and beep at me, driving disturbingly close to me in your ill-timed attempt to turn left as I crossed the street at the Young/Robie intersection Sunday afternoon. I refuse to move through the world without publicly voicing that you are in fact the one who is lacking intelligence in this situation. I started crossing with 11 seconds on the clock. I was three-quarters of the way across when you misinterpreted when to take a left turn and decided to roll on up into my personal space.

Once you realized your error you took offense to it, but I guess you couldn't comprehend a world in which you made a mistake so you decided to honk and throw your arms up in frustration. I still had one second when this occurred and then the warning light came on which you pointed to. Let me educate you. If a pedestrian approaches a crosswalk and the hand is flashing that means you should not attempt to cross. I was already most of the way through the intersection when it appeared, which meant I still had time to cross. You, sir, were in the wrong and you can suck my proverbial dick.
—Courteously Correct
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Friday, September 6, 2019

Willow Tree mess

Posted By on Fri, Sep 6, 2019 at 12:57 PM

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Dear HRM politicians and staff: The Willow Tree intersection at Robie and Quinpool needs a roundabout! Having five streets with stop lights makes for a complete nightmare. Fix this.
—Midnight Idler
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Thursday, September 5, 2019

Bikes, lanes and automobiles

Posted By on Thu, Sep 5, 2019 at 2:36 PM

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Do all jackass drivers in this province get a driver’s permit, regardless of incompetency and stupidity? I drive, walk and use my bicycle in good weather. I’m 63, and I have seen/experienced my share of close calls and collisions. While cycling in a bike lane in Halifax (during daylight) over the Labour Day Weekend, a driver trailing my bike-riding wife drove parallel to me, when I was riding carefully on my bicycle. We’re side-by-side on Lower Water Street. Not quite certain what this clueless-looking driver wanted to do, I started braking. Sure enough, the driver cuts in front of me and crosses the bike lane into a parking lot. WTF? Another head-shaking close call, courtesy of a careless and crack-brained motorist.
—Pedal-pushing Geezer
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Thursday, August 29, 2019

How to solve traffic congestion in peninsular Halifax—NOT

Posted By on Thu, Aug 29, 2019 at 3:02 PM

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Throw more asphalt and concrete at it? I think those 40-foot long asphalt ramp thingies on South Park Street are raised bike lanes, and now there are four-inch-high concrete bollards along the rest of SP Street as well. I left work at noon today, and the buses and big trucks going opposite ways could barely squeeze past each other without scraping their sides. How is reducing SP St. to a single lane in either direction going to solve traffic congestion? It won't. Every time a bus stops, traffic will get backed up behind it—and I've heard that city hall wants to reduce Spring Garden Road to a single lane in either direction as well. Are they insane?

I hate motorists as much as the next bloke, but they have to drive and park SOMEWHERE. And I can see those asphalt ramps and bollards getting smoked by the first snowplow that passes them this winter. And when the city demolishes the Cogswell Interchange? Best dust off your sturdiest walkin' shoes, folks, 'cuz it'll be the only way to get around that won't make you bonkers over the next five years!
—Glad I'm A Lifelong Non-driver
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