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F.U.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Does it get better soon?

Posted By on Tue, Feb 25, 2020 at 9:23 AM

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To the religious lady from the Baptist church who felt the need to degrade me and call me names and abuse me for being LGBT, when all I wanted to do was finish my shift as a barista: I wish I knew what to do to stand up to you. You looked at me with so much hatred in your eyes while talking about God’s love. I actually pity you and the evil person you are. — Battered Barista

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Wednesday, February 12, 2020

The exception to the rule

Posted By on Wed, Feb 12, 2020 at 4:10 PM

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I saw your look of confusion as I passed by, blaring my horn at you. Look: the carshare parking spots are for carshare cars. Not for German-made luxury vehicles idling life away. So  had to park farther away and walk through even more treacherous shitice because of you. Thanks. If I seem overly enraged, it’s because this is hardly the first time I’ve had this happen.

My every day seems filled with assholes for whom rules and regulations apply to everyone, everywhere. Unless and until they apply to them because they have more urgent business. Carshare parking only? Not if I need to just pull in for a bit. No smoking? Yeah, but I really need a dart right now. Quiet study area? Yeah, but I gotta take this call. Fire lane? I’ll only be in the liquor store for a minute (I’m looking at you, everyone on Baker Street). And what are the odds of a fire, anyway?

Fuck you people and your fucking exceptionalism. If you want to live in a place where the rules only apply to other people, I suggest heading south. The Tweeter-in-Chief is all about that. “They” say the road to hell is paved in good intentions. That aphorism was invented by exceptionalists like you, who want to excuse constantly acting in bad faith. Guess what? You’re not that special. Follow the fucking rules. Improve your intentions. Please. — Slip ’N’ Slide

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Saturday, February 1, 2020

Another car bitch

Posted By on Sat, Feb 1, 2020 at 9:20 AM

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Once again, walking to work I was cut off in an intersection by someone speeding through in front of me. Had I not stopped walking through they would have hit me. I looked at their faces to see if they might have just missed my presence there, but there were staring right at me, laughing and giving me the finger. I guess people think it's a joke to put people's life at risk with reckless and dangerous driving. No wonder we have so many fatal pedestrian collisions. — Dead By Drive-By
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Thursday, December 26, 2019

Nowhere to live

Posted By on Thu, Dec 26, 2019 at 3:26 PM

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Frustrated with the rental situation in this town. You're limited to apartments meant for students to share, or overpriced, soulless condos. Everything in the middle is being used for Airbnbs and nothing is left for the people that live here. Patiently waiting for the city to step in and regulate this shit.
—Air Bnbitch
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Friday, December 13, 2019

More Halifax driver fury

Posted By on Fri, Dec 13, 2019 at 12:51 PM

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It must’ve been hilarious to almost hit me with your car and watch me jump back because you weren't looking. It's really too bad you didn't take up my offer when I asked you to get out of your car right then, or even the second time when you pulled up on me trying to scare me. Nah homie, get out of the car—I'm not fucking playing. You think it's funny to almost take someone's life? Let's laugh together next time. This isn't the first time, either. This happens daily and now I'm on a warpath for Halifax drivers who don't think they need to pay attention to pedestrians.
—Come Find Out
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Thursday, November 28, 2019

Oh hi

Posted By on Thu, Nov 28, 2019 at 10:21 AM

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Hello person who made a Bitch about pedestrians and cyclists being slow or inconsiderate. It is I, a pedestrian and cyclist! I think you should know that any time a car is flying towards a crosswalk I do take my time. I do because my body is more vulnerable than your car. Stop coming to a rolling stop and expecting me not to give you some casual realness—it doesn't matter if I'm in a rush or not, if you are putting people in danger through your reckless driving I don't think you should be driving a vehicle. Maybe take a breather while you're at it, if you hate driving then don't, roads used to belong to those travelling on foot, driving is a privilege, so ahhh fuck you too kind person. Cheers.
—Yours Truly ;-)
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Friday, October 18, 2019

Glug glug glug

Posted By on Fri, Oct 18, 2019 at 1:14 PM

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I love my job BECAUSE I'm drunk! I'll drink in the washroom all I like, thank you very much. What cha gonna do about it? I have an hour lunch break to kill, so chug a lug, it's cheaper than a pub. This Bud's For You, bitch!
—It's 5:00 Somewhere!
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Thursday, August 22, 2019

Many-faced blood-sucking parasites

Posted By on Thu, Aug 22, 2019 at 10:11 AM

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Poly-ticks. Sigh. So another election is approaching, and again there will be endless rhetoric about poor voter turnout. There will also be the "if you don't vote…" guilt trips:

If you don't vote you don't get to complain.

If you don't vote you're disrespecting the people who gave their lives for our freedom.

If you don't vote then it's a vote for the Libs/Con/NDP/New&ImprovedRefoooormParty.

Horseshit, I say. These are not reasons to vote. They are thinly veiled threats to distract you from the valid feeling that there is no one worthy of your vote.

If voting is so damn terrific. then why aren't the so-called leaders doing more to earn our vote rather than spewing the same half-truths and nonsense as every other election. It's the members of the political parties who are "disrespecting those who gave their lives" as they don't show enough integrity to warrant buying an apple from them, let alone be our provincial or federal leaders. Therefore undeserving of your vote.

We should expect more from the candidates if they want our precious X on a ballot. Time to step up!
—None Of The Above [X]
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Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Alcholics

Posted By on Wed, Jul 31, 2019 at 10:36 AM

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to the lady who was comming out of the public washroom the other day go to the bars and drink at the bars i know it was you who was drinking in our public washroom the other day when i found your beer can in the washroom so stop hiding it i know your IMBARESTED ABOUT IT and i know you have a alchol problem so take your problem that you have stop hiding your beer can in your bookbag and take your alchol problem that you have and take it to the fucken bars! the same thing goes to the alcholic woman who keeps drinking in the mall washroom to take it to the bars you alcholic!
—Learn What A Bar Is!
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Tuesday, July 23, 2019

To those…

Posted By on Tue, Jul 23, 2019 at 3:12 PM

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…who leave the bus with a loud "thank you" to the numerous, obviously ill-behaved transit bus drivers, why? I wish I would hear more "fuck you mister bus driver!"s.
—Sad (Black, Duh) City Dweller
PS: I would post a rant directly to such drivers but I doubt I would get through to any of these rude, racist psychos tbh.
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Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Thrift shop stank fest

Posted By on Tue, Apr 30, 2019 at 1:14 PM

I went into my neighborhood thrift shop for a peek the other day and couldn't stand the stink of the place. No, I'm not necessarily talking about that dusty, thrift shop smell that all of them have, I'm talking about the shoppers! OMG, every person I walked past just reeked! First, there was this old man smelled like pure piss. Then, this woman smelled like major arm pits. Then, this other lady I walked past who had a greasy ass rat's nest for a hairdo smelled like old onions and sour milk sweat. My God people, soap is cheap! Go wash your stank ass before going in public places. I had to walk out and put the stuff back I was carrying because the thought of trying on something in the changing room that had previously been tried on by one of these smelly bodies was enough to me gag. As I walked past a bunch of people in the lineup and started toward the exit, another blast of funk hit me, stronger than all those before it: Stinky, corn chip feet smell, L'eau du old hot dog water and ass assaulted my nostrils. There is just no excuse for your unbeleivable rotten arses to be waving around that kind of stench in public. Even if you can't afford $1 for soap at the dollar store, grab a ziplock bag and go into a public washroom and fill it up with free handsoap to take home. Fill up the tub with water as hot as you can stand it and then take a facecloth and get it full of that soap. Scrub your pits, ass, feet, privates and greasy hair. Have some self-respect. Clearly ya'll just rolled out of bed and left your house. You may not be able to smell yourself, but others can. Here's a tip: If you didn't shower today, you stink!
—PU you're offending me
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Monday, April 15, 2019

Fuck rape culture and abuse apologists in Halifax

Posted By on Mon, Apr 15, 2019 at 1:33 PM

Women deserve better.
—Angry Femme
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Monday, March 25, 2019

Untitled bitch

Posted By on Mon, Mar 25, 2019 at 3:40 PM

I sat at a certain crappy hospital for seven and a half hours while bleeding through my pants. I was having a miscarriage, and after seven and a half hours of not seeing a doctor and being told I was next, I left to go get some rest.

I found out the next day.

A Big fuck you to everyone working at that hospital that night—except the nurse that brought me orange juice.
Not gonna be a mom

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Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Femmes can be creeps too

Posted By on Tue, Feb 12, 2019 at 3:36 PM

Are you really single because you’re afraid of love? Or are you a self-obsessed, bullying void who anyone with even half a boundary won’t touch with a 30 foot pole?
—Shrug emoji
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Tuesday, January 22, 2019

How to be friends

Posted By on Tue, Jan 22, 2019 at 12:35 PM

Life is busy. We all wanna get shit done, we all wanna make it to the end of the day in one piece. And, we wanna heal (with possible exceptions.) I know I'm guiltier than most when it comes to being overly dreamy and hopeless and talking too much, however, I'm tired of people—all sorts—vacillating between making demands on others and acting very indirect about simple things and expecting people to read their minds.

They make stupid noises that belong in cartoons for kids instead of vocalizing what's actually going on, ask leading questions and use manipulating gestures that frankly, freak me out as someone who has been abused in the past. Well, it leaves me feeling flustered and confused, like, if I have to change who I am so that you don't have a meltdown about your grandma dying TEN YEARS AGO, then fuck off and get professional help. If you want help, request it. If you're feeling your feels, state it. If you have an idea, say it. I have myself to deal with and that's more than enough at the best of times, so filling in your gaps is not an option now or ever. I had to learn online and in workshops how to communicate properly. It isn't rocket science, but it's also not entirely common to have great role models so I'll forgive you that. You already know what you want, but do you ever bother to ask yourself what you actually NEED?

And have you even stopped to think that perhaps my autonomy and self-respect holds more importance than this pseudo relationship? I refuse to become an extension of your anxieties, I reject your pouting face that's supposed to make me bend over backwards, and I will no longer tolerate people who fabricate thrones out of their supposed purity of heart. The pure of heart don't suck the life out of everyone else in the room. K bye.
—I'd rather not

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In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 40
February 27, 2020

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