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Everyone's a critic

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Trash-ass mumble music

Posted By on Thu, Dec 12, 2019 at 10:27 AM

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Saw this popular singer with on TV—the woman with the black hair ends and bright green roots—and wondered what the fuss is all about? When did mumbling off-key into a microphone become a raving sensation in music? She sounds and looks wack. I have no idea why she's getting commercial success, her music is nothing more than a fake glorification and monopolization of depression that confused children latch onto. Spouting "who here hates themselves" in the middle of a concert is just an example of how damaging this irresponsibility is to humans in their formative years. This chick is nothing more than another symptom of soulless recycled pop garbage for the masses incapable of critical thinking to eat up.
—Muzak Critic
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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

What's wrong with "you people"?

Posted By on Wed, Nov 20, 2019 at 3:24 PM

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Whether it is somebody saying "you people" in a context that appears discriminatory, or somebody seemingly making a broad generalization about hockey players being "bullies," why is the immediate reaction of so many people in either of the instances to demand that offender to be removed from their chosen career or livelihood? I don't agree with either statement that was made, but I also don't agree with an approach that is simply nasty, vindictive and inflammatory. We can criticize, deconstruct and openly discuss things that offend and hurt us without stooping to the level of stripping careers and opportunities from people as a form of justice for our infringed feelings.
—I Think It's Clear Who The "Bullies" Are
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Wednesday, October 30, 2019

The Joker and It shit

Posted By on Wed, Oct 30, 2019 at 3:23 PM

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Enough with the clowns and the constant ads for the Joker movie and the It movie. Both are so over and done, they've been remade a million times. BORING! Every time I go to a movie site it's all clowns. Make something original for once. This stupid shit sucks.
—Down With The Clown
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Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Public service announcement for all who bring strollers on the bus

Posted By on Tue, Oct 15, 2019 at 2:08 PM

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The world doesn't revolve around you, and neither should other passengers. Don't block the aisle with your baby—if I was a mean person I'd toss that thing on the street. The seats flip up not only for wheelchairs but for strollers, too. Get off your lazy ass and be aware of those around you. Tuck that monstrosity to the side and let others pass.
—I'm Going To Start Paper-cutting Mothers With My Bus Pass
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Friday, October 11, 2019

Praise be, bitch

Posted By on Fri, Oct 11, 2019 at 9:18 AM

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Did we really assign a man to interview one of the most important feminist writers of our time? We're better than that, Halifax. What could have been an enlightening, relevant interview was totally cringe-worthy and embarrassing.
—Under Her Eye
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Friday, September 20, 2019

Ready to drop your pitchforks yet?

Posted By on Fri, Sep 20, 2019 at 12:12 PM

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Toxic callout culture mob mentality "warriors"—are you ready to drop your pitchforks yet? Callout culture is ending, and everyone now notices how every time your group disagrees with people or has conflict, they're cancelled. YOU are scarier to people in the community than the people you cancel, but people are too afraid of your social power to stand up to you—mostly for fear of being blacklisted and isolated from any community contact. How does it feel knowing that the marginalized and underprivileged hoard that you blacklisted from accessing any resources in their own community are coming back with a vengeance? Have you come to terms with your own privilege? Are you able to move past your own stumbling blocks? Hmm.
—Human Fucking Being
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Friday, August 30, 2019

Croaky voice

Posted By on Fri, Aug 30, 2019 at 9:47 AM

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Stop using the croaky voice! You people who use it sound like you're on your deathbed. It's like someone is pulling the words out of your mouths one at a time. It does not make you sound cool. You sound like a fool. The croaky voice is only acceptable when you're laying in bed just waking up.
—Hatethecroaky
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Monday, November 5, 2018

Check yourself out of there

Posted By on Mon, Nov 5, 2018 at 12:49 PM

To all Halifax dum-dums: The self check-out is not for people who have a full cart of groceries. It is not for people who take five minutes to scan a single carton of milk. Yes, I know the other lines are long, but there's a reason self check out exists: It's for people who have a couple things and can get themselves through the check-out process quickly. There should not be a line up of ten customers at self check out waiting for one creamy idiot to scan a can of soup.
Cursing quietly. Screaming inside.
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Tuesday, July 3, 2018

To the sisterhood with love

Posted By on Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 2:40 PM

Cool rant but: I know a lot of attached women in Halifax cheating on their guys, too. AKA POF! Not to mention single women banging married guys (with kids) and they know it. It’s a Halifax thing?
—Tattoo bro
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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Bitchy drivers

Posted By on Wed, Nov 22, 2017 at 9:38 AM

I have lived in six cities in 15 years. Do you know what they all have in common with Halifax? Every city is full of bitchy drivers that can't stop crying about how the drivers in their city are “the worst.” STFU. —Quit Yer Bitchin’


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Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Sid the kid is right

Posted By on Tue, Oct 3, 2017 at 4:17 PM

Where the hell do these professors and activists get off telling Sidney Crosby who he can or cannot visit? He made a lot of right and correct decisions without their help before. He is not making a political statement by going. He would be if he didn’t. And for their info, tens of millions of people support Trump. Maybe they should learn when to shut up when it is none of their business. Also it is the team that was invited not just Sid. Have a great trip, Sid. I’m jealous. —Tired of Bullshit Statements
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Saturday, July 15, 2017

Conan and the Barbarian

Posted By on Sat, Jul 15, 2017 at 12:41 PM

Tonight's guest was academy award winner Marisa Tomei: "...she looks good for 50?" You look like shit for 30 you fat, bald, tribal tat, trucker hat mother fucker! Fuck you! Everyone's a critic. Get off your bar stool and get some respect. Have you even seen The Wrestler? No, you probably just watch real wrestling cause you're an idiot...fuck you dude. —co-Stan-za





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Monday, June 26, 2017

Educate yourselves

Posted By on Mon, Jun 26, 2017 at 4:25 PM

Yes, pink is most certainly in the rainbow, but you are wrong to place it next to the violet. Pink belongs near the red because the red mixed with clouds will produce pink. —Showing some pride in the rainbow





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Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Old Eagle Boy

Posted on Tue, Jun 14, 2016 at 4:00 AM

So your poor eagle statue was stole. My question is who the hell carries a seven million dollar statue in their backpack? Then we find out the decoy statue was stolen as well. Goddamn you must be stupid to carry both of them at the same time. Its called a decoy for a reason. I'm left with the opinion your a show off. True, you didn't deserve to be robbed but damn you're dumb. I guess the best part is you offer a ten thousand dollar reward. That just furthers my opinion on how stupid you are. —Paul
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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Dearest Sladam Drandler

Posted on Tue, May 31, 2016 at 4:00 AM

You had some hits in the '90s and some of your audio sketches and tunes still make me giggle to this very day, maybe. But your movies have sucked for almost 20 years. Netflix keeps telling me I might like this one, but you and I both know it's not likely. Stop while you still have your dignity. Your target audience barely has the attention span to sit through a 10 minute youtube video cringe compilation. —Jack Black, Seth Rogan, James Franco & Kevin Smith
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Recent Comments

  • Re: Sidewalk etiquette

    • Learn downtown sidewalk etiquette. Barrel down the sidewalk like you're a Sherman tank & take…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Trash-ass mumble music

    • If she can make a living off what she does, who are you to condemn?…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Phone Zombie!

    • I'm thinking about all the repetitive stress injuries eye fucking a smartphone will do, particularly…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Cigarette fuckery

    • When those horrible pix first came out in the 1990s, I printed off a bunch…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: More Halifax driver fury

    • No human being can compete with a 4000 lb. vehicle. You're lucky to be in…

    • on December 14, 2019
  • Re: Alcholic lady

    • ugh How long are there going to be bitches posted about this? How many are…

    • on December 13, 2019
  • Re: Trash-ass mumble music

    • ok boomer

    • on December 13, 2019
  • Re: Maybe hire a copy editor too

    • LOVE this bitch by Unemployed Eidtor. Made my day!

    • on December 7, 2019
  • Re: Maybe hire a copy editor too

    • Probably because most of these job postings are a formality and they're all going to…

    • on December 4, 2019
  • Re: Alcholic lady

    • "heres a message straight to your face". Isn't posting a message here,the polar opposite of…

    • on December 4, 2019

In Print This Week

Vol 27, No 29
December 12, 2019

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