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Bitch Karaoke

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Karaoke killer

Posted By on Wed, Oct 9, 2019 at 3:06 PM

Thursday nights at our favorite dive bar was a fun tradition for our little group. But that's been shattered by a "karaoke killer." No, she's not crushing her "performances" but merely murdering our good time with her multiple visits to the stage and warbling in an irritating monotone. There should be some kind of "one-song only" rule to prevent such annoyances, since it appears her friends and the establishment are enabling her behaviour. We've identified a solution, though: Now we meet at a different bar!
—Drop The Mic… Please
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Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Lame bitch posts

Posted By on Tue, Apr 23, 2019 at 1:46 PM

All you bitchers who bitch about the slightest: The world doesn't revolve around you because you missed a bus or the sidewalk isnt clean enough for you. Secondly, no one gives a shit.
—Grow up, whiners
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Monday, April 15, 2019

Captain Obvious

Posted By on Mon, Apr 15, 2019 at 2:24 PM

So, I'm searching medical web sites for my symptoms to try to ease my worries. Lots of people have written in to share their opinions and symptoms. But, there is always the majority of annoying people who have to repeat the obvious: "Go see your doctor". Fuck off, will you? Does every second person really need to say this? We all know we should go see our doctor—duh! We most likely will. But for now, we want to look some shit up and see if it's something we should freak out about or if it's something we can deal with on our own.

People don't need you to tell us to see the doctor. The waiting rooms are all full. Maybe we don't want to waste half the day on every whim? We are grown adults. Every second comment on these sites is a broken record. "Go see your doctor!" "Go see your doctor!" "Go see your doctor!" God, you people are fucking annoying as hell. Either contribute to the conversation in a helpful way or fuck off with your two-cents drivel.
—Guess I'll go to the doctor

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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Just Friends?!

Posted on Wed, Nov 2, 2011 at 3:30 PM

We've been spending almost every spare minute together. We have walks, talks, dinners, discussions on everything under the sun. Every few days, we come damn close to hooking up but then you panic and go cold on me. Here's what I think. I think you don't feel that you deserve happiness. I think you like the way that I treat you, but every time you start to like it too much, you get scared. The other day, I told you that it's time for us to stop spinning our wheels, and you told me that you just want to be friends? Just friends? The night before, you were snuggled up to me and rubbing my crotch through my jeans. Just friends? Fuck off. I already have lots of friends. It's time for you to put out or get out. Life is too short to play this game of yours forever. —Blue Balls
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Thursday, October 27, 2011

A tip for all you single men out there...

Posted on Thu, Oct 27, 2011 at 9:34 AM

Although I fall squarely on the "lesbo" side of the scale, I'd like to help out some of those poor suffering bachelors out there. I've recently taken a position that requires me to enter dozens of apartment units a day and I have noticed a disturbing trend. Units rented by bachelors have the smelliest bedrooms. I'm talking about a foul "oh my god what died in here" kind of stench. I can only surmise that this is because bachelors don't know that they're supposed to wash their sheets more than once a year. Guys, wash your sheets once a week (or at least change them once a week - this requires owning more than one set of sheets). Your lady friends will thank you for this. —Your Friendly Neighbourhood Gay Lady
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