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Angry? Mad as hell and you can't take it anymore? Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.

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Saturday, February 8, 2020

Posted By on Sat, Feb 8, 2020 at 10:58 AM


To the dog walker along Almon Street who carries yellow or green plastic doggy bags for the poop pick-up: yes, you're doing the earth-friendly thing by bending over to bag your dog’s poop, but only to deposit the bag on the sidewalk by the telephone pole near the Rona on Almon. Please do mother earth a favour and take your poop home with you for proper disposal. Mother earth will love you, as will all of us who walk on Almon and have to observe your poop bags piling up. — Pooped-Out Doggy-Bag Observer

Friday, January 17, 2020

Posted By on Fri, Jan 17, 2020 at 9:52 AM

Dear neighbour on Fuller Terrace: It's snowing and your dog would like to come in. He has been out there barking for over 30 minutes. I am a block away and I hear him begging to come in out of the cold and wet. You do this every day. Every day you ignore your poor dog. I have had enough. Be responsible or I will call the SPCA.
—The Guy Who Is Not Joking

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Posted By on Thu, Aug 15, 2019 at 2:17 PM

I see it every summer. Stupid people who take their dogs out for walks in a heat wave in the middle of the day. Do you realize how hot that pavement gets on a blistering day? Your dog cannot tell you their paw pads are burning and that they're suffering. Dogs are at the mercy of the intelligence—or lack of it—of their masters.

Please put protective pawwear on your dog's paws before you make them walk for miles in the hot sun with no protection, or leave them at home where they should be. And please bring water for them, too. Today I saw a poor dog being walked with no sign of a water bottle anywhere on the person who was walking the poor animal. Hope they were close to home.
—Pant, Pant!!

Saturday, August 3, 2019

Posted By on Sat, Aug 3, 2019 at 11:39 AM

This city is still in the Dark Ages. Why the hell can't I bring my dog on the bus or ferry? Why are there no actual dog parks here? If I wanted to bring my dog to the only off-leash dog-friendly area in the city, I have to go all the way to Point Pleasant Park, but guess what? I have to drive because Halifax Transit is so god damn lame they don't allow them. Why can I bring my dog on a street car, ferry, bus AND subway in any other city in Canada? (Also, the Common or that fenced-in parking space beside it doesn't count as dog parks either, folks.)
—A Real Bitch

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Posted By on Tue, Jul 9, 2019 at 8:17 AM

Seriously? You believe the best place to pick at your fly bites and scabs is at the bus stop and on the bus? Not only were you picking—not scratching, but full on picking—your fly bites and scabs, but then you were wiping the blood onto your legs, arms and the bus seat. Come the hell on! How were you raised? No one wants to see that shit. It's disgusting. Then to top it all off you start sneezing with your yap wide open spreading your snot and spit all over the place for all to enjoy. Thanks so much for that. The topper to all of this was the huge wad of spit you graciously left on the side of the street before getting on the bus. Grow up and get some manners. I feel bad for whomever had to sit next to you on the bus.
—Wishing for some hand sanitizer

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Posted By on Thu, Jul 4, 2019 at 3:59 PM

This is the second time I saw your cat left outside, sitting on your doorstep in the pouring rain waiting to get inside your house.
So, I decide to go across the street and ring your doorbell to tell you your cat wants to come inside. Then you tell me that it is ok that your cat stays out in the rain. Really? Maybe you should stay out in the rain, idiot, and see if you like it and let your cat come inside your house. You do not deserve to have a cat or any pet.
If you didn't want a cat then you shouldn't have adopt it!—A happy cat owner

Monday, June 17, 2019

Posted By on Mon, Jun 17, 2019 at 3:08 PM

WTF Halifax? Long Lake Provincial Park, over 2,000 hectares and nary a centimetre dedicated for dogs to run and swim, unless you risk being fined. There is room for all. FTL (Free the Leash).
—Johnny FTHC

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Posted By on Tue, Jun 4, 2019 at 11:52 AM

Oh cool, oh great. It's been nice outside for five whole minutes so those goddamn Segway tours are running again. A crowd of assholes hogging the sidewalk/pathway/boardwalk because they want to have fun and are, incidentally, incapable of thinking of others or MOVING OVER means I'll stay inside until September.
—share the sidewalk, Segway shitheads!

Monday, June 3, 2019

Posted By on Mon, Jun 3, 2019 at 1:16 PM

Sighhhhh. When does a big auto-dealership baron on peninsular Halifax have enough space for his cars? Not yet—not until his little neighbour, a veterinary clinic that's been on the corner of North and Robie streets for decades, vacates at the end of June. The car dealer's company owns the vet hospital property, and the impending loss of that site is the latest development in the dealer's contentious parking-lot expansion. If city hall truly wants to create and maintain walkable communities, and it does, then bulldozing a place many locals and their furry friends could always access on foot seems to conflict with that planning philosophy. More lot space, more cars, more drivers on the road. This shit's fucked up.
—Pongo McCritter

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Posted By on Tue, May 21, 2019 at 3:34 PM

Bring Back Bald Britney
She a boss ass bitch
with an umbrella ella ella
Bustin up car windows
No more dancing Vegas puppet
Handlers at the kitty cat ranch

Fat Palimony bitchboy
Federline fed enough
He eatin like a king,
Bling bling bling,
Cut him off judge!
Leave Britney alone!
Illuminati queen, next to Bey
But I like Sahsa Fierce better.

Bring back bald Britney
and bald Bynes too.
Yas yas yas queens
Yous the real shits
Stay Woke
—Read between the lines

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