My wife and I banned a certain fish and chip place due to the fact it was closed without notice every time we decided to visit it. Today, we decided to lift the ban after two years and revisit the place. However, to our surprise, the business is closed for a week. Sorry, the ban has been reinstated—Hook, Line and Stinker

Other things that need eradication are man buns( Super greasy! Mate that with a beard and you're another Ben Kaplan knockoff!) Also, ball caps worn other than with the bill facing forward look so douchy. It makes those that see it dumber by the experience. Leave it for history J Rock, know what I'm sayin''?
I'm going to start a movement with like minded non-millenials. Yes, individuals that can actually do things. The world need us now more than ever. Now fuck off.
—Walking with coffee

What a pigsty. Garbage, garbage everywhere. Mayor Savage, you should be ashamed.
—Bluenoze

I went into my neighborhood thrift shop for a peek the other day and couldn't stand the stink of the place. No, I'm not necessarily talking about that dusty, thrift shop smell that all of them have, I'm talking about the shoppers! OMG, every person I walked past just reeked! First, there was this old man smelled like pure piss. Then, this woman smelled like major arm pits. Then, this other lady I walked past who had a greasy ass rat's nest for a hairdo smelled like old onions and sour milk sweat. My God people, soap is cheap! Go wash your stank ass before going in public places. I had to walk out and put the stuff back I was carrying because the thought of trying on something in the changing room that had previously been tried on by one of these smelly bodies was enough to me gag. As I walked past a bunch of people in the lineup and started toward the exit, another blast of funk hit me, stronger than all those before it: Stinky, corn chip feet smell, L'eau du old hot dog water and ass assaulted my nostrils. There is just no excuse for your unbeleivable rotten arses to be waving around that kind of stench in public. Even if you can't afford $1 for soap at the dollar store, grab a ziplock bag and go into a public washroom and fill it up with free handsoap to take home. Fill up the tub with water as hot as you can stand it and then take a facecloth and get it full of that soap. Scrub your pits, ass, feet, privates and greasy hair. Have some self-respect. Clearly ya'll just rolled out of bed and left your house. You may not be able to smell yourself, but others can. Here's a tip: If you didn't shower today, you stink!
—PU you're offending me

I know you don't mean any harm by it and it's just your way of being friendly, but it makes me and a bunch of other people we work with really uncomfortable. You don't need to run your hand across my shoulders or waist when you first come in for the day, you don't need to grab my wrist to get my attention, and you don't need to give my arm a squeeze when you leave. I know it's probably a cultural thing and I've been called a racist for bringing it up, but I don't like people being in my personal space or having people other than close family or friends touch me. I've had bad, BAD experiences in the past and given all the talk about unwanted touching and consent and so on over the past couple years I would've figured it would be common knowledge that randomly touching people and getting in their space is a huge no-no. Please just stop.
—Is it so weird to not want people touching you?

What is the matter with Halifax drivers? So fucking many use signal lights as afterthoughts—if at all. Others roar through red lights like bats outta hell, change lanes like surrounding drivers have mental fucking telepathy, or tailgate while primping their hair or eye-fucking their smartphone. Every one of those numb fucks deserve to careen into a ditch before they kill someone. I wish the city would turn this burg into one big roundabout and then maybe good drivers and pedestrians would stand a chance.
—Suck my exhaust

Why is every "Shop Talk" article about another privileged white person starting something in Halifax? Are there not any diverse entrepreneurs you can cover or are they all white? Just an observation.
—POC

All you bitchers who bitch about the slightest: The world doesn't revolve around you because you missed a bus or the sidewalk isnt clean enough for you. Secondly, no one gives a shit.
—Grow up, whiners

Show up to my house empty handed again and you will be asked to leave. If you aren't taking me out on a date, you can at least bring wine. And if you expect another blowjob without eating my pussy, that will be the last time you get sex from me. Last chance, fucker!
—All women

To the woman walking the black lab on Cunard street:
It’s clear you don’t understand that it's your responsibility to clean up after your dog takes a dump. Let’s keep it real simple for you: if the dog poops, you scoop.
—So glad I'm not your neighbour