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Tuesday, January 22, 2019

How to be friends

Posted By on Tue, Jan 22, 2019 at 12:35 PM

Life is busy. We all wanna get shit done, we all wanna make it to the end of the day in one piece. And, we wanna heal (with possible exceptions.) I know I'm guiltier than most when it comes to being overly dreamy and hopeless and talking too much, however, I'm tired of people—all sorts—vacillating between making demands on others and acting very indirect about simple things and expecting people to read their minds.

They make stupid noises that belong in cartoons for kids instead of vocalizing what's actually going on, ask leading questions and use manipulating gestures that frankly, freak me out as someone who has been abused in the past. Well, it leaves me feeling flustered and confused, like, if I have to change who I am so that you don't have a meltdown about your grandma dying TEN YEARS AGO, then fuck off and get professional help. If you want help, request it. If you're feeling your feels, state it. If you have an idea, say it. I have myself to deal with and that's more than enough at the best of times, so filling in your gaps is not an option now or ever. I had to learn online and in workshops how to communicate properly. It isn't rocket science, but it's also not entirely common to have great role models so I'll forgive you that. You already know what you want, but do you ever bother to ask yourself what you actually NEED?

And have you even stopped to think that perhaps my autonomy and self-respect holds more importance than this pseudo relationship? I refuse to become an extension of your anxieties, I reject your pouting face that's supposed to make me bend over backwards, and I will no longer tolerate people who fabricate thrones out of their supposed purity of heart. The pure of heart don't suck the life out of everyone else in the room. K bye.
—I'd rather not

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