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Sunday, September 8, 2013

I suck at flirting

Posted on Sun, Sep 8, 2013 at 8:23 AM

This is a bitch to myself. There may be others like me. I empathize.

I have been cursed with a complete inability to flirt and to recognise when others are flirting with me. I know the theoretical mechanics of what constitutes flirting: prolonged eye contact, smiles, compliments, mirroring body language, casual touching of arms and hands, and all the other subtle ways of showing interest. I just can't put them into practice when it counts.

This makes developing relationships next to impossible. I do go on dates, and have met some wonderful men, but the best outcome is entry into the friend zone. I'm reasonably attractive, have a good job, and can carry out intelligent conversation. However, I am sending out no signals to show that I'm really into you. And if you're flirting with me it's not going to register. So I'm single. Always single!

Can we start to incorporate a flirting for dummies system into society? Maybe hand out a little card that reads 'hey, I want to get to know you' or simply 'flirt!' (Like in old FB days when we poked and threw sheep at each other) Maybe make the middle school note 'do you like me? yes/no/maybe' acceptable for grown-up use? This would really help those of us who are flirting impaired.

So, self - try harder. Physical existance is not enough of a flirting strategy. Just touch his arm, it's not that fucking hard to do! —Dating dud

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