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Thursday, March 14, 2013

Thieving git

Posted on Thu, Mar 14, 2013 at 12:15 PM

To the cretin who stole my coat the other night, I curse you and all your kith and kin. Never again will you be able to enjoy the little pleasures in life. A beautiful sunny day will bring only melancholy and despair, your favourite foods will turn to ash in your mouth and all that you touch will wither and die. Eventually you will be forced to leave society and inhabit a small dank hole where even the vermin will shun you. Yet still this will not atone for the terrible deed of robbing from my friend on his birthday, he too lost his jacket to your greasy mitts (although he does have a track record for losing coats on an almost biweekly basis, but still). You are scum, subhuman scum. —Cold And Coatless

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Vol 28, No 2
October 15, 2020

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